Past Or Future?
by Karen-Charlene
Summary: Someone from Catherine's past shows up and affects her relationship with Lou. How is she going to deal with her love life when a life changing surprise gets in the picture?
1. Surprise from the Past

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI and/or the characters, CSB does.**

**Rating: K.**

**A/N: This story had been stuck in my head for quite a while now so I thought I'd give it a chance. This wasn't beta'd so don't be too harsh.**

* * *

><p><strong>Surprise from the Past<strong>

"Catherine! 419 at the Sapphire! You're on it! Take Vartann with you!" D.B. called from his office as Catherine passed by it on her way out of the lab.

_'Ugh, __seriously?' _She sighed, _'That's __my __third __case __tonight!'_

She was just about to go home and get some much needed sleep, and she wasn't in the mood for another murder case.

Tired and frustrated, she headed out of the lab and to her next destination – LVPD.

* * *

><p>"You left your bra at mine the other day," Lou commented quietly as he walked towards the crime scene with Catherine by his side.<p>

"Sorry," Catherine smirked.

"Oh, I'm not complaining," He smiled as they both walked into the strip club.

Looking up at her boyfriend, she saw him staring at one of the dancers and hit him lightly on the arm, "Don't even think about it," She warned.

"I was just wondering what you looked like, dancing like that."

"Well, maybe one day I'll show you," She said seductively, leaving him wide eyed behind as she walked over to the bar, showing her badge to the bartender, "I'm Catherine Willows; I'm from the crime lab. We got a call in about a dead body," The bartender pointed to the VIP room and the pair headed inside.

The room was dark with only pink light and seductive music. A big couch was in the corner of the room and a glass table next to it with two empty wine glasses and needles. What caught the CSI and the Detective's eyes, however, was the female body around the age of 20, lying on the floor with a gunshot wound in the stomach and needle marks on her left arm.

"Who called it in?" Catherine turned to the big, tough guard in the corner of the room but turned back around when she heard a male voice coming from the doorway.

"I did."

Her eyes widened as she saw who the man was.

"I'm Detective Vartann, LVPD," Lou extended his hand to the man, "Are you the club owner?"

The man took hold of Lou's hand and shook it, all the while looking at a wide eyed and open mouth Catherine standing in the middle of the room, "Yes, I am," He replied with a smug smile, finally looking at Lou, "I'm Chris Bezich."

* * *

><p><strong>Short, I know, but I had to stop here.<strong>

***If you don't remember, Chris Bezich was Catherine's boyfriend in season 4 and he cheated on her and they broke up.**

**Hope you liked it, leave me a review. Promise I'll update soon.**

**-Zohar xxx**


	2. Facing the Past

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1.**

**Rating: M for some ~unpleasent~ words.**

**A/N: Reply to the review of **_**twiggy**_**: I can't tell you what's gonna happen, but trust me, stick till the end and you won't regret it. I hope ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Facing the Past<strong>

_'No way. It's not possible. I thought this man was finally out of my life, I haven't seen him for 7 years! What's he doing here? Did he just give me that look? What's he up to?'_

Catherine stood shocked in the middle of the room and watched as her boyfriend and ex-boyfriend were discussing a murder that occurred in her ex-boyfriend's club.

_'Okay, Catherine, this isn't the time for drama. You never let your emotions get to you while you're working, this time shouldn't be any different. Just… just act normal, like you don't know the guy. Deal with it later.'_

Finally coming back to her senses, she shook her head slightly to get rid of any thoughts about her past with Chris and walked over to the two men talking, "Hi, I'm CSI Willows," The men turned their heads to look at her as she introduced herself, Chris's smile came back to his face, "Do you know the victim?"

"I do," Chris replied, "She's one of my strippers."

"Do you know who was here with her?" Lou asked, taking notes as Chris told him everything he knew.

For the rest of the time they spent at the scene Catherine couldn't concentrate on anything; all she could think about was the trouble from her past that suddenly came back to her life.

* * *

><p>"You okay?" Lou glanced at her as he drove her back to the lab.<p>

"Fine," She looked at him for a second with a fake smile plastered to her face, then turned back to look out of the window.

He kept his eyes on her for a few more seconds, trying to find any clue as to what was going on in her mind, and then turned to look back at the road, his hand resting on her leg.

He pulled up at the lab and looked at her again, "Okay, what's going on?"

She turned her head to look at him, "What do you mean?"

"You've been acting weird all night."

"I'm just tired," She sighed and opened the door, but then turned back around, cupped his cheeks in her hands and kissed him deeply. It took Lou a few seconds to register what was going on before he kissed her back. When they broke apart she looked into his eyes, her hands still on his cheeks, "You know I love you and I would never hurt you, right?"

"Catherine, what is it-"

"Just answer me," She cut him off.

"I do," He nodded and stroked her arm, "And I love you, too."

She smiled and gave him another kiss before climbing out of the car and heading toward the lab. Lou smiled after her and headed back to PD.

Catherine walked into her office and slumped down onto her chair with a loud sigh. This night was too much for her. She rubbed her face and tried to get any thought of Chris off her mind.

_'Jesus, Catherine, pull yourself together. It's not like he was dead or something, you knew you'd bump into him sooner or later. So why does it still hurt? It's not like you haven't been cheated on before.'_

She sighed again just as her phone went off, "Willows," She answered it, leaning back in her chair.

"It was nice seeing you again," A familiar male voice came from the other end of the phone.

"Chris?" She whispered, leaning forward in the chair, "How did you get my number?" He voice was sterner this time.

"I have my ways," She could sense that he was smiling on the other end of the phone and it pissed her off. She used to love his smile; she could have the worst day at work and just seeing his smile at the end of her shift would make her feel better. But now she hated him and she hated everything about him.

"What do you want?"

"I'd like to see you. We haven't talked since-"

"Since you cheated on me?" She cut him off. She was getting more furious by the moment, and bringing that memory back up wasn't helping.

"Cath, it was years ago, can't we just forget about it?" He sighed.

"Forget about it?" She could swear that if he was there, she would punch him without a second of hesitation, "You humiliated me! You let me fall in love with you while you were fucking God knows how many women from the side! Do you have any idea what it felt like to walk in on you and that slut? To hear her moan your name when I was sure I was the only one doing it?" She couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Remembering all this again was making her feel horrible; it brought her back to that night. She promised herself she wouldn't let any man hurt her again, and here she was, crying down the phone while the man who hurt her just kept silent, listening to her taking it all out.

"I'm sorry," She finally heard his voice after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah, well, it's not enough," She stated and hung up her phone, slumping back in her chair.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked it, let me know what you think.<strong>

**Promise to update soon!**

**-Zohar xxx**


	3. Memories and Revelations

**Disclaimer in chapter 1.**

**Rating: M.**

**A/N: Okay, I know the first two chapters were pretty short, so here's a longer one. Hope you like it (:**

* * *

><p><strong>Memories and Revelations<strong>

_Catherine walked into his club, dressed up in a fancy black dress that made her body look phenomenal; she knew how much he loved seeing her in dresses. She waved to the bartender and headed to her boyfriend's office. She had told him she would be working late that night, but she had closed her case earlier than she expected and she wanted to surprise him._

_Walking into his office, she froze just inside the room as she witnessed something she wished she hadn't: A girl was sitting on Chris's desk, he legs open widely, and Chris standing between them, kissing her neck passionately. Catherine just stood there, frozen, staring at the couple moaning and giggling._

_The pair sensed her presence and stopped their actions. Chris turned to face her and she looked at him, trying to hold back the tears; trying to stay strong. She waited for him to explain, her eyes filled with hurt and rage, tears filling them and threatening to come out and embarrass her more than she already was._

_She couldn't believe this was happening to her all over again. After Eddie she had promised herself she would never let another man hurt her; she wouldn't fall for another cheater. And there she was, staring at her so called boyfriend as he was fucking another girl._

_And the thing that really sucked? She was actually starting to fall in love with him. She was starting to give into her emotions and give him her heart._

_"What did you expect?" He finally spoke up, "I run a night club."_

_'Is that all he has to say to me? I just caught him cheating on me and that's all I get? Like it's not even his fault? Like it's part of his job? Like I should've been expecting it?'_

_Her eyes were already filled with tears and she knew that if she didn't get out of there right at that moment, she'd probably do something she'd regret. So, turning on her heels, she didn't wait or want to hear another word from this man, she just stormed out of the room._

_She walked out with tears down her cheeks, hating him and hating herself even more for being so stupid. Again. She was humiliated. All she wanted to do was get the hell out of the club and his life as soon as possible. And that's exactly what she did._

_The following day, she spent the day in bed, crying, but showed up at work later that night and acted like nothing had ever happened; she wouldn't let anyone know about what happened, she wouldn't let anyone see something was wrong, even though she was falling apart inside. She didn't want them to know how hurt she was; she could no longer let herself be vulnerable around other people._

* * *

><p>Catherine sat curled up on her couch in front of the fire with a glass of red wine in her hand. She replayed the events from 7 years ago over and over in her head. His words kept echoing in her head: 'What did you expect? I run a night club.' That was the last thing he said to her, that's how he was trying to justify his actions.<p>

She scoffed.

She thought about how she spent the past 7 years forgetting about him, how she never let anyone in anymore.

And then she started seeing Lou – a nice guy from work who's also went through a messy divorce and also has a hard time opening up to people. Surprisingly, the two got on really well and started dating.

At some point of their relationship he asked her to move in with him but she said no. She could see he was a little upset, but she couldn't get too attached to someone again; she was afraid of being hurt.

That's also why she didn't tell him about the fact that she owned part of a casino or about the time she thought she was raped – it was hard for her to open up, especially to a guy. And it caused a pretty big fight that after the explosion at the warehouse just faded away and she wasn't going to bring it back up because she knew he'd start asking questions and she wasn't ready to answer them; she wasn't ready to open up.

She smiled to herself as she started replaying every happy, sad and exciting moment in their relationship. She couldn't believe that she's been with someone for a little longer than 6 months and he hasn't hurt her. And he's not going to. Lou was the one.

Feeling a little better she left the glass of wine on the coffee table and headed upstairs to take a shower before leaving for work.

When Catherine arrived at the lab she felt a little better; she had decided to put her past with Chris behind her. He wasn't worth thinking of. She had a new boyfriend, who loved her, and she loved him back, and Chris was in the past – where he belonged.

She headed toward the DNA lab to get her results on the semen that was found in the victim's uterus.

"Hodges, what you got for me?" She walked in and stood across from him.

"The semen belongs to a guy named Chris Bezich," Hodges turned the computer screen for her to see that suspect's profile, "A local, no criminal records."

Catherine felt her heartbeats pick up when she heard his name. Suddenly, all the anger and hate came back to her, _'Why __does __he __get __to __me __so __much?'_

"Thanks, Hodges," She quickly hid every emotion and headed out of the lab, calling Lou and telling him to bring Chris in on her way out.

30 minutes later, Catherine and Lou were sitting in the interrogation room with Chris sitting across from them.

"I don't understand why I'm here," Chris said, "You think I killed her?"

Catherine didn't think he killed her; she hated him and thought that he deserved everything bad that would happen to him, but she knew he wasn't capable of murder. For a second, a picture of him behind bars flashed in her mind, and though she felt bad about it, she had to admit – she liked the idea. But, she was there to do her job and seek the truth, not revenge.

"Vanessa was pregnant," Lou said, "With your baby."

Chris leaned back in his chair, shock written all over his face, "I had no idea she was pregnant," He said after a moment of silence.

"I don't think so," Catherine finally spoke up, leaning forward and looking straight into his eyes, "See, I have a theory: Vanessa came to you and told you she was pregnant with your baby. You freaked out, you killed her," There was a slight gleam in her eyes as she was talking, and it almost looked like she was enjoying it.

"I did not kill her!" Chris also leaned forward so his face was just a few inches away from hers. She looked deeply into his eyes and could feel the anger building up inside of her.

"You slept with her," Lou joined the conversation, making the CSI and the suspect turn their heads to look her him.

"So? I can sleep with whoever I want, it's not a crime."

"Murder is," Catherine stated.

Chris turned back to face her with a slight smile on his face, "Look, I know you're upset with me, but it doesn't mean I killed Vanessa. I liked the girl, and I didn't even know about the baby. Sorry, Cath."

"Hey! She's CSI Willows for you," Lou warned.

Chris's smile got bigger as he looked at Lou, "Why? She used to like me calling her 'Cath'."

Catherine looked at Chris wide eyed, knowing that the little secret she was keeping from Lou was about to come out, _If __he __ruins __what __I __have __with __Lou, __he's __a __dead __man!'_

"Excuse me?" Lou looked at him confused.

"Oh, didn't she tell you?" If possible, Chris's smug smile grew even bigger.

"Didn't tell me what?" Lou looked between the two of them.

"Nothing!" Catherine burst into the conversation, but was cut off by Chris.

"We dated."

* * *

><p><strong>Hehe, I'm gonna stop here and leave you wondering what's gonna happen *evil grin*<strong>

**I might publish the next chapter today if I have time. In the meanwhile, leave me some reviews - you know how much I like them ;)**

**-Zohar xxx**


	4. Adventures in the Office

**Disclaimer in chapter 1.**

**Rating: M for sexuality!**

**A/N: See? You got two chapters in one day. You're welcome. I finally have a week with no tests so I have some free time on my hands and I couldn't wait to write this chapter. This is the first time I publish one of my rated M stuff so I hope it's good.**

* * *

><p><strong>Adventures in the Office<strong>

After they let Chris go, Catherine knocked on Lou's door and opened it, walking into the office. She closed the door behind her and stood there for a few seconds, staring at the Detective filling some files.

"You're pissed at me," She sighed after a few seconds of silence.

"I'm not pissed at you, Catherine," He mumbled, not looking up from the files.

_'Yeah, right.'_

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Chris," She tried to be at sweet at possible, though she was fuming and all she could think about was putting Chris down.

"Forget about it," Lou freed himself from her arms and got up, going to his coffee machine.

"See? You are pissed at me."

"I'm not pissed at you, Catherine," He sighed, "I just wished you had told me." He turned around with a cup of coffee in his hand and walked over to his desk.

"Why? I dated him 7 years ago, he belongs to the past. There's nothing going on."

"Well, there's gotta be something if you just pretended you didn't know him," Lou sat on the edge of his desk, sipping his coffee.

"Okay," Catherine surrendered, "You wanna know what happened? He cheated on me," Lou's eyes widened. He knew she was cheated on by Eddie when they were married, but he never imagined she was by other men, too.

"The reason I didn't tell you about him is because I knew you'd make a scene or start asking questions and you know how much I hate talking about my past. Plus, I didn't think it was worth mentioning. It just kinda bothered me, 'cause last time I saw him he was standing between another girl's legs and now I suddenly meet him after 7 years – it was a bit of a shock for me. Seeing him after 7 years of no contact brought it all back and it made me feel bad; it reminded me of who I used to be and the bad choices I've made in the past, but I promise you," She walked over to him and settled between his legs, he, in response, put his cup on the desk and wrapped his arms around her hips, "You have nothing to worry about. This guy is in the past. I don't care about him. You're the one that I love."

Lou knew how hard it was for Catherine to open up and share her past and feelings with someone else, so when she said those things, he believed her and knew that she meant them.

"Okay," He smiled softly, pulling her closer to him, "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did."

"It's okay, I understand why you did," She kissed him and he kissed her back, his tongue softly caressing her lower lip, seeking entrance to her mouth. She parted her lips willingly and he sneaked his tongue into her mouth, massaging hers with his own. Catherine let out a quiet moan at the feeling of his soft tongue touching hers, and it was enough to make his libido kick into overdrive.

The kiss soon turned more passionate and, forgetting they were still at work, they started stripping each other. When they were completely naked, Lou picked Catherine up and turned around, sitting her on the edge of his desk. She opened her legs widely and pulled him to rest between them.

Lou started kissing her neck, slowly moving his kisses down to her collar bone, chest and finally, her breasts. He flicked his tongue across her left nipple and used his hand to manipulate her right breast, eliciting low moans from his lover.

"Lou…" She half panted, half moaned.

"Mmm?"

"Make love to me," She whispered.

He smiled against her breast and moved his kisses down to her stomach, "Not yet," He mumbled against her soft skin. He was going to take his time with her.

He kneeled in front of her and licked her gently before pushing his tongue into her hot, wet centre.

"Ahhh… fuuuck!" Catherine moaned, throwing her head back. Lou grinned against her and pushed his tongue further into her, rubbing her clit with his thumb.

"Oh, Lou!" She moaned loudly, feeling the pleasure building up inside of her. He started moving his tongue faster in and out of her, and seconds later, her muscles clenched around his tongue and his name left her mouth in a scream as her orgasm washed over her.

He lapped up her juices before standing back up in front of her. She pulled him into a deep, hungry kiss, and he slowly slid himself inside of her, making both of them groan out loud in pleasure.

Lou grabbed her hips and started moving inside of her, all the while kissing her; he knew how loud Catherine was when they made love, and the last thing he wanted was one of his colleagues hearing them and walking in on them, so he just claimed her mouth in his, swallowing her moans.

His hands wandered her body, touching everywhere they could reach. When they reached her breasts, he cupped them and started massaging them, 'causing Catherine's mouth to leave his and moan loudly. He moved his kisses to her jaw line and down to her neck as she scraped her nails down his back, leaving deep scratch marks.

Groaning loudly, he grabbed her ass and started pounding into her.

"God, baby, you feel so good!" Catherine moaned out. She reached between them and started playing with her clit, moaning loudly as she did.

"Oh, baby, that's hot," He panted as he moved inside of her at a furious pace.

Her hips met his and their sweaty bodies grinded against each other. They were always good together when it came to sex; they could always find a rhythm.

Catherine bit Lou's shoulder as she came for the second time that night. That was enough to send Lou over the edge and he shot his hot seed into her, burying his face in her neck to muffle his groans.

They stayed in the same position for a few more minutes; clinging onto each other and breathing heavily.

"That was… amazing!" Lou murmured against Catherine's neck after he finally caught his breath.

"You can say that again," Catherine panted, her head rested on his shoulder.

He smiled at her before gently kissing her swollen lips, then pulled out of her, making her groan at the loss of contact. She jumped off of his table, but found out that her legs had turned into jelly, and fell into Lou's arms, giggling softly.

"We better start getting dressed," He smiled down at her and she nodded tiredly in response. They both started searching for their discarded clothes and getting dressed.

"Uhh… Lou?" Catherine looked around the office.

"Yeah?"

"I can't find my panties."

"Oh, you mean those?" Lou held up the pair of black, lacy panties with a smirk on his face.

"Yes, those," She reached up for the underwear, but he put them in his pocket.

"Lou!" She warned, "Give them back!"

"Or what?" He smirked.

"Lou, I'm serious."

"So am I," She glared at him, so he added, "I want something to help me remember you for the rest of the shift." She couldn't help but smile softly at his excuse and gave up.

After they both finished getting dressed, they checked each other to make sure there was no sign left from the adventure they had just had, and then left the office, each one for his business. They remained with a stupid grin on their faces for the rest of the shift and Catherine finally stopped thinking about Chris; instead, she was thinking of her handsome Detective who she loved so much and loved her back. She knew he'd never hurt her; she knew she could trust him, and maybe when time comes, even open up to him.

* * *

><p><strong>Yayay, finally some VCR hotness ;)<strong>

**Leave a review, let me know what you think.**

**-Zohar xxx**


	5. Giving into Desire

**Disclaimer in chapter 1.**

**Rating: M for sexuality.**

**A/N: Okay, you're gonna hate me after this chapter but I just had to!**

* * *

><p><strong>Giving into Desire<strong>

"Guess what," Lou said as he walked into Catherine's office.

It had been almost a week since they started investigating the murder in Chris's club and they still hadn't gotten anywhere. Meanwhile, Catherine had to see Chris's face every time they came to the club and Lou had to stay calm and not punch him for hurting the girl he loved.

"What?" Catherine looked up from her paperwork.

"The vic had a boyfriend," Lou started, walking over to Catherine's desk, "And it's not all; she was last seen with him."

"She was?" Catherine took off her glasses and walked over to Lou to look at his notes.

"Yep. Michael Williams – a guard at the Stallion Ranch. The guy who was with her in the VIP room said that he saw him walk into the room just as he was leaving and that he didn't look too happy. One of the strippers said that he was Vanessa's boyfriend and that they had some problems."

"Well, where is he now?"

"He was just on his way to the airport," Lou smiled, starting to see the case as closed, "Brass is bringing him in."

* * *

><p>"Michael Williams," Catherine read from the file that was on the table in front of her, Vanessa's boyfriend sitting across from her and Lou, "You have some violence history – you've beaten your ex-wife," She finally looked up at him.<p>

"That was a long time ago," Michael started, his arms fold and a grumpy expression on his face.

"Why don't you tell us what happened with Vanessa?" She closed the file and leaned forward slightly.

"That bitch cheated on me. I had just got home from work and her doctor called. She wasn't home so I answered her phone. He said she was pregnant."

"And you didn't think you were the father?" Lou asked.

"A few years ago my ex-wife and I tried to have a baby. We couldn't and the problem was with me. There's no way I could get Vanessa pregnant. So, I didn't even bother to change out of my work clothes or get something to eat, I just went straight to her club and I saw her giving that guy a lap dance," His gaze turned from angry to disgusted, "I never had a problem with her job, but that's when I didn't know she was cheating on me," There was a moment of pause before he continued, "I waited for the guy to leave, then I came in and confronted her. She admitted she slept with someone else and said that it was the only time and that she would never do it again."

"Did you believe her?" Catherine asked.

"I wanted to. I loved Vanessa, with all of my heart. That's why it hurt me so much. She humiliated me! I gave her everything I had, I treated her like a princess, and that's what I get in return? She goes and fucks someone else and he gets her pregnant?" His voice kept rising, "I was too upset and I wasn't thinking; I pulled my gun out of its holster and I shot her – right in the stomach, where she was carrying that baby," The disgusted gaze returned to his face.

Catherine and Lou exchanged looks for a second before looking back at him.

"When she was dead I saw the needles on the table. I knew she was taking drugs, so I thought I'd make it look like a drug deal gone wrong."

When he saw Catherine and Lou's faces he had to justify himself, so in a calmer and hurtful voice he said, "Do you have any idea how humiliated I felt?" He looked at Catherine, "Do you have any idea what it's like to be cheated on?"

"I do," Catherine replied, "But I never killed anyone."

The cop standing in the corner of the room walked over to Michael and cuffed him before taking him out of the room.

When the cop and Michael were out of the room, Lou looked at Catherine, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Catherine sighed and rubbed her face, "Just glad this case is finally closed," She got up, took the files from the table and left the room.

She was glad that after almost a week of investigating they finally found the guy who did it, but, even though she wouldn't admit it, part of her hoped that eventually Chris would be found guilty. Part of her was still seeking revenge and she didn't know why, not until a week later.

A week later Catherine had just finished her shift and was about to go home. She knocked on Lou's office door and opened it, poking her head into the room.

"Hey, I'm heading off, you coming?" She smiled at him.

The detective looked up from his paperwork, looking exhausted, "I wish," He sighed, "But I still got a lot of work to do."

"Oh, okay," Catherine tried to hide her disappointment.

She had been thinking about him all shift, since she saw him earlier that night walking through PD with his suite. She always liked seeing him in his suits, but this night was different; they barely spent time together in the past week - the two of them were too busy with work – and Catherine missed him, she missed all of him.

So when she saw him walking like that with his suit it was too much and she spent a couple of minutes just staring at him and trying to stop herself from pushing him against the wall and taking him right there, right then.

The rest of her shift she spent thinking about him and the things she wanted to do to him, and when he told her he couldn't come home with her she was a bit disappointed.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then," She smiled slightly.

"Goodnight," He smiled softly at her and she left the office.

_'Okay, __Catherine, __it's __not __that __bad. __There __will __be __other __opportunities. __It's __not __like __it's __the __first __time __work __gets __between __you __two. __And __work __always __comes __first.' _Catherine tried to calm her hormones as she was driving home, _'What __you __need __is __a __cold __shower __and __a __glass __of __red __wine. __Yep, __sounds __like __a __good __idea.'_

Pulling up outside her house, she got out of the car and walked into the empty house. She walked straight upstairs and into the bathroom. After stripping off her clothes she got into the shower. Leaning against the wall and closing her eyes, she let the cold water run down her body and wash all the stress and frustration from work away from her.

She was finally starting to relax when she heard a noise downstairs. She opened her eyes and tried to concentrate on hearing it again but didn't hear anything.

_'You're __just __tired, __Catherine,' _She sighed and closed her eyes again.

When she got out of the shower she looked at her wet figure in the mirror before putting on her silky gown that barely covered her thighs.

She walked downstairs to turn off all the lights when the same noise she thought she heard earlier startled her. Her heart started pounding and she walked on her tiptoes into the kitchen and quietly reached the top drawer, pulling out a gun.

Holding the gun in her hands and aiming it forward, she slowly walked out of the kitchen and towards where the noise was coming from. Suddenly she heard the noise again, coming from her left; she turned around startled, loading the gun as she did, only to jump out of her skin as she saw the man standing in front of her.

"Damn it, Chris! I almost shot you!" She shouted at the man holding his hands up, his eyes focused on the gun, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What the hell are you doing aiming a gun at me?" Chris asked.

She looked at the gun and put it down, sighing slightly, trying to relax her racing heart, "I thought you were a burglar."

There was a moment of silence between the two before Catherine spoke up again, "What are you doing in my house?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"So you had to break in?"

"I didn't break in," He tried to defend himself, "I saw you getting home and I knocked on the door a few times but you didn't answer, so I thought there was something wrong, and I remembered the spare key you keep under the rug outside your door," He smiled slightly, "I have to say, I was a little surprised when I found out you haven't changed its spot."

Catherine glared at him, "You could've called, you know," She picked the gun up and started walking toward the kitchen, "I was in the shower."

Chris didn't say anything in response, by now his eyes were fixated on her long, tanned legs that the robe barely covered. He licked his suddenly dry lips and came back to reality when he heard her clear her throat, and his eyes snapped up to meet hers, seeing her standing in front of his with her hands on her hips, no longer holding the gun.

"What did you wanna talk about?" She was not in the mood for talking, especially not with that man. She thought that after finally closing the case she had got rid of him.

"I wanted to thank you for catching the guy who did this to Vanessa and… and to my baby," He added the last part quietly, then cleared his voice and his famous smile returned to his face, "Everything In the club is finally back to normal, thanks to you guys."

"Is that why you came here?" The angry expression still hadn't left her face.

"No," He sighed, "I wanted to apologize."

Catherine was a little shocked by his sudden statement and her hands left her hips.

"I had some time to think," He continued, "And after hearing what happened between Vanessa and her boyfriend I realized what I've done and it made me feel bad."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you if that's why you're here," Catherine said in a cold tone. She turned around and started walking upstairs, but he caught up with her.

"That's not why I'm here, I really am sorry."

"Don't worry about it, it's in the past."

"Well, you're obviously still mad at me. Why does it still bother you? You're a strong woman, I'm sure a lot of guys like you, why does something that happened 7 years ago still bother you?"

Catherine spun around to face him, startling him a little, "Because I was in love with you!" She yelled. Chris's eyes widened slightly at her statement. When they dated he thought they were just having some fun; he didn't think it was that serious.

Catherine sighed and took a deep breath before she continued, "I never gave myself completely to other men after my ex-husband. I was just starting to fall in love with you and I though, 'what the hell, he's a good guy. He liked me and he cares about me… maybe I can finally let go of this shield and give myself to him.' But no," She hit his chest, making him stumble backwards, "You had to make me realize that you were just like everyone else! You had to cheat!"

Chris didn't know what to say to that, he just looked down. She sighed as she turned around and started walking toward her bedroom.

"So that's why you were so determined on making me look guilty?" He called after her, making her turn around, "You wanted to put me in jail for breaking your heart 7 years ago?"

Catherine smiled an irritated smile, _'This __guy __gives __himself __too __much __credit.'_

"Go to hell, Chris," She turned back around to go to her bedroom, but he stopped her again.

"I'm serious. You could've hit me, yell at me, do whatever a girlfriend does when she finds out her boyfriend's cheating on her, but you just walked away. So don't blame me!"

_'Okay, I've had enough!'_

She walked up to him and slapped him. Not expecting it, he held his now red cheek as he looked at her shocked.

"Happy now?" She looked at him furious.

"Very."

She brought her hand up to slap him again, but he grabbed her wrist just before it made its way to his cheek. Not giving up, she brought her other hand up, but he grabbed that one, too. Before she knew what was happening she was slammed against the wall with both her hands pinned above her head, Chris holding her wrists tightly, his face just a few inches away from hers, almost touching hers.

They stood that way for a few seconds, staring into each other's eyes, both breathing heavily, chests rising and falling rapidly, their hot breath hitting their faces. The sexual tension was unbearable and before Catherine had the time to think or insist, Chris's lips were pressed roughly against hers as he kissed her hard. She whimpered at the contact. It took her a little while before she kissed him back. All the anger that was buried inside of her was in that kiss. Chris finally let go of her wrists and she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer.

Slowly, they started giving into each other and the kiss turned more passionate and slow, both moaning softly into the kiss. Suddenly, nothing felt wrong; Lou was momentarily forgotten and the two were focused on taking out all the anger they had on each other.

Chris grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her up. She got the hint and wrapped her legs around his waist. He ran his hand up the back of her thigh, pulling the gown up as he did. She tried to push it back down a couple of times, but he just kept pulling it up until she gave in and let his hand make its way to her bare ass and cup it, making her moan into the kiss. She ripped his shirt off of him and threw it across the hallway, digging her nails into his shoulder blades.

He grabbed her ass firmly and walked with her in his arm toward her bedroom, kicking the door open. When they were inside, he slammed her against the door and pushed her robe off of her, leaning back slightly to look at her naked body.

"Still sexy," He commented before she pulled him closer to her and started kissing, licking and sucking the skin on his neck, leaving a mark.

He spun around with her in his arms and threw her onto the bed. He took off the rest of his clothes before climbing on top of her. They looked into each other's eyes and saw the fire and desire burning in them. 7 years of not sleeping together and being furious at each other were just adding up to the arousal they were feeling and the guilt was suddenly gone and all they could think about was that moment.

In one hard thrust Chris was buried deep inside of Catherine. She threw her head back into the pillow and moaned loudly as he filled her perfectly. He started moving fast and hard inside of her, her nails digging deep into his back and leaving deep, red marks along it.

They were both panting and the room filled with loud moans and groans of pleasure as they moved at a frantic pace, making the bed squeak and bang against the wall.

Chris grabbed Catherine's thighs and lifted her legs up, and she wrapped them around his waist, allowing him to penetrate her deeper.

"Ohhh…. YES!" She screamed as she felt him hitting her G-spot, "Right there! Don't stop!"

He slammed into her harder, groaning loudly. Catherine's fingers were clutching to the sheets desperately as she felt her release approaching, her nails almost tearing the sheets. She scraped her nails up his ass and back as her muscles tightened around his member and she came hard with a scream. Chris rode her through her orgasm, his hands gripping her hips tightly as he reached his climax with a grunt.

A few minutes later they were lying together in bed, Chris on his back, looking up at the ceiling with the biggest grin on his face, the blanket barely covering him, and Catherine lay on her side, as far away from him as possible, facing the wall with her back to him and the blanket wrapped around her body. All she could think about was Lou and how much she hated herself right at that moment. Suddenly, she had become the cheater.

"That was amazing, I've forgot how good you are," Chris said, still smiling, and rolled onto his side, running his fingers up and down her arm, but she pulled away.

"Baby?"

"Get out of my house," She said quietly.

"What?"

"Leave!" She said louder, still not facing him.

Chris looked at her for a few more seconds before getting out of bed and starting to get dressed. Catherine remained at the same position, silent and still as a statue. When he finished getting dressed he looked at her for a moment before leaving the room and taking his shirt from the hallway.

She heard the front door open and close and just when she heard his car set off she let the tears stream down her face.

* * *

><p><strong>*runs off to hide*<strong>

**I know you guys probably want to kill me right now! But don't worry, I'll fix this, I promise!**

**Tell me what you think.**

**-Zohar xxx**


	6. The Aftermath

**Disclaimer in chapter 1.**

**Rating: T.**

**A/N: Sorry it took me awhile, I've been really busy with school. Also, sorry if it's kinda crappy, it's a little hard to write and listen to your teacher at the same time. btw, you're probably gonna hate me for this chapter, so another sorry in advance.**

* * *

><p><strong>The Aftermath<strong>

After Chris had left, Catherine spent about 2 hours in bed, crying. She hated herself for doing this to Lou. She had spent so long hurting and hating Chris because he cheated on her, and here she was, doing the exact same thing – cheating on the love of her life. And with who? With the same guy who had cheated on her.

_'I'm pathetic!'_

When it felt like all the tears had left her body and she couldn't cry anymore, she got up and got into the shower. She wanted to wash everything that had just happened away. She wanted to wash the smell oh Chris away from her body; she wanted to wash Chris away.

She just stood under the hot water, staring at empty space and thinking of ways to tell Lou and explain to him. When she finally got out of the shower she made a decision to never tell Lou about what had happened.

_'Lou can't know about this! That guy ruined my life once, I'm not gonna let him do it again. I'm not gonna let him ruin what I have with Lou!'_

Wrapping a towel around her, she walked back into the bedroom and stood in the doorway, just staring at the bed.

_'I need to get rid of those sheets.'_

With that in mind, she walked over to the bed and violently stripped the sheets off. She wanted them off of her bed; she didn't want any reminder of what had happened on this bed. When the sheets were finally off she grabbed them and started making her way to the washing machine, but stopped halfway there and looked at them, then turned back around and walked downstairs and out of the house, and threw them in the trash.

After throwing them away, Catherine walked back into the house and upstairs to her bedroom, and climbed into the named bed. She curled up into a ball and slowly fell asleep, hoping to wake up and realize that it was all just a bad dream.

That night she didn't show up for work; she called in sick and stayed in bed all night, and kept ignoring calls, especially the ones from Lou and Chris.

After calling her for the 5th time and getting to her voicemail, Lou decided to leave a message: "Hey, honey, I was looking for you tonight and Stokes told me you called in sick. You're not answering your phone and I'm worried about you, I hope you're okay. Well, call me when you hear this message. Love you."

Catherine lay in bed wide awake, and a tear escaped her eye as she listened to the message, _'How __can __he __love __me? __I __hate __myself! __I__don't __deserve __him.'_

The following night, when she woke up for work, she decided to forget about Chris and everything that had happened between them; she wouldn't let one little, meaningless mistake get between her and Lou. She wouldn't let it ruin the best thing that happened to her in years. With that in mind, she had dinner, got ready and left for work.

At work, however, she kept avoiding Lou. She wouldn't let her fling with Chris effect her relationship, she wasn't going to tell him, but it was too hard for her to be around him, she wasn't ready to look at him; to look into his eyes and see herself doing the one thing she hated the most – cheating. She just needed some time to forget about Chris and everything that had happened, to get her head cleared, and then she could go back to normal. Or at least that's what she thought.

Later that night she was sitting in her office when Lou walked in, "Hey, you okay?"

She looked up at him and felt her heart beat its way out of her chest. The guilt came back to her at full force. So, sticking to her plan, she plastered a smile to her face and sweetly said, "Fine, why?"

"I don't know, I fee like you're avoiding me," Lou sat down on the couch.

"No, just been pretty busy with work," The fake smile remained on her face.

Lou got up and walked over to her. Standing behind her, he started massaging her shoulders. She leaned back in her chair and sighed. She really was stressed, only it wasn't work that made her so stressed.

After a couple of minutes of massaging her shoulders, Lou walked over to her front and sat on the edge of her desk, "Why don't you take a break? I'm going on my break soon, join me," He smiled softly at her.

"Okay, just give me five minutes to finish this report."

"Okay," He smiled and went back to sit on the couch.

Catherine shook her head to get rid of any thought of Chris; this story was over. She went back to writing the report. Without noticing or thinking, she scratched her neck, moving her shirt slightly as she did, and revealing the big mark Chris had left when he sucked on her neck.

Unfortunately, Lou noticed the mark and, frowning, he walked over to her, "Hey, what's that?" He touched the mark softly. Catherine turned her head to look at it and her eyes widened, "I didn't give you that…" Lou frowned.

Catherine felt her heart pounding again at a furious pace. She knew it wouldn't take long until Lou would come to the realization of what had happened between her and Chris – after all, he was a detective, it was his job to figure these things out, and Catherine knew that he was damn good at his job.

And, just like she expected, the expression on Lou's face slowly turned from confusion into realization and shock, and he slowly got off of the table, not wanting to believe what he was thinking, and turned away fro her.

"Lou…" Catherine felt the tears approaching. He wouldn't turn to face her so she got up, walked over to him and gently put her hand on the top of his arm, but he pulled away.

"Who was that?" He asked quietly. The calmness in his voice, instead of helping Catherine relax and calm her racing heart, just made it pound harder.

"It doesn't matter-"

"Who was that?" He cut her off, his voice louder this time, and finally turned around to face her.

She looked down, tears already filling her eyes, and whispered, "Chris."

A mixture of shock, anger and sadness appeared on Lou's face. He wasn't sure he had heard her correctly, "Chris? Chris, the guy you dated 7 years ago?" His voice kept rising and Catherine looked up at him, the tears not slowly rolling down her cheeks, "The suspect in our case? The guy who fucking cheated on you?"

"Lou, I'm so, so sorry. It just happened, I don't even know how."

Lou kept staring at her for a few more seconds, still not wanting to believe, before turning on his heels and storming out of the office.

"Lou, wait!" She walked after him as she quickly followed him out, "He showed up at my house and we were fighting, and suddenly-"

"Suddenly you ended up in bed with him!"

By now the team and all the technicians in the lab were standing around and watching the scene, but Catherine and Lou didn't notice and didn't care.

"I thought you hated that guy!"

"I did! I still do!" Catherine cried as she walked over to Lou and tried to hold his hand in hers, but, again, he moved away.

"Then why did you do it? You wanted me to feel the way you did when he cheated on you? Is that it?"

"What? No, of course not!"

"What happened to 'I love you and I'll never hurt you'?" Catherine could hear the hurt in his voice and it broke her heart.

"Can't we just forget about it?"

"You can forget about it, I'm done with you."

"Lou, don't say that. You don't mean it," The tears were rolling down Catherine's cheeks uncontrollably. She wasn't used to cry like that, in public, and over a man, but with Lou, with Lou it was different; he was different. She wasn't going to lose it, she wouldn't let it happen.

"I do," He replied, turned around and headed out of the lab.

Just then Catherine looked around her and saw everyone watching silently; all the shouting between the couple drew everyone's attention. Embarrassed, she walked back into her office and shut the door behind her.

For the rest of the shift neither Catherine nor Lou could do their jobs properly; they would get frustrated at suspects, drop things at the lab and not be concentrated during questionings. Neither of them would talk to anyone about anything apart from their cases and the people at the lab kept talking about their big fight.

Lou was full of rage and sadness and Catherine just wanted to bury herself in the ground. She tired to call Lou a few times and even left a couple of messages, telling him how sorry she was and how much she loves him, but got no reply from him. She knew she had messed up, big time.

When his shift was finally over, Lou walked out to his car and climbed in. For a couple of minutes he just sat there with his head on the stirring wheel before he drove off. He didn't even think where he was driving, he let the car lead the way, and suddenly he found himself parking outside of The Sapphire, Chris's club.

He sat in the car for a couple of minutes, just staring at the club with hate and anger in his eyes, before climbing out and walking toward the club.

Chris was sitting in his office and going through the club's bills when he heard a knock on the door, "Come in," He called without looking up from his desk. The door opened and in the doorway stood a furious Lou.

Chris looked up and smiled, "Can I help you, Detective?"

"You slept with my girlfriend," Lou exclaimed, glaring at him with his arms crossed.

Chris sighed as he got up and made his way toward Lou, "I'm sorry, who is your girlfriend?"

"You slept with Catherine!"

Chris stopped in front of him and looked at him shocked, then smirked, "Catherine is your girlfriend? Man, how did I not notice that? Though I did see a great chemistry between you two-" A punch right in the nose cut him off, making the smile on his face disappear, and almost knocked him to the floor.

It took him a moment to recover from the hit while Lou just kept standing still with hate and anger in his eyes, "Okay, I guess I deserve it," Chris murmured, holding his nose, "Though for my defense, I gotta say that she wanted it if 'Yes! Right there! Don't stop!' is anything to go by," He mimicked Catherine.

He knew he had reached his goal and managed to piss Lou when he earned another punch to the nose, "Son of a bitch!" He yelled as he held his now bleeding nose, "You fucking broke my nose!"

"Shut up!" Lou yelled.

Chris couldn't give up this time and punches Lou in the eye in return. Soon a fight between the two men developed in the office until Chris shouted for security and a moment later two security guards burst into the office and pulled Lou away from Chris.

"I'm gonna file a fucking complaint against you, you asshole!" Chris called after Lou as the guards dragged him out of the office. Lou freed himself from their grasp and stormed out of the club.

Later that day Catherine got tired of calling Lou and not getting any answer – she knew he was ignoring her – so she decided to go round to his house and deal with him. She was determined to fix what she had ruined, no matter what. She wouldn't let him stay mad at her much longer.

A couple of minutes after she knocked on his front door the door opened and Lou stood there with a black eye, staring at her, clearly not in the mood to see her.

She, however, immediately noticed his black eye and touched it softly, "Oh, my God, Lou, what happened?"

Lou moved his head away from her hand, "It's none of your business."

She sighed, "Can I come in?"

"No."

"Lo, come on, I want to talk to you," She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"We have nothing to talk about. You cheated on me, there," He was about to close the door, but she stopped it with her hand and stepped into the house.

Lou sighed, closed the door and turned to face her with his hands in his jeans pockets, "What do you want?"

"We need to talk."

"You already said that. And I don't wanna talk," He said as he started walking up the stairs, hoping she would just go and leave him alone to forget about her, but she followed him up.

"Lou, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to sleep with him, and if it makes you feel any better, I didn't even like it."

"Jeez, that makes me feel so much better," Lou said sarcastically as he walked into his bedroom, "And don't lie to me," He added, turning to face her.

"I'm not lying."

"I heard about how much you… 'didn't' like it."

"What are you talking about?"

"I went to see Chris," He said. Catherine looked at him shocked, "He told me how much you enjoyed it. He was very specific."

"I didn't," Catherine sighed, "It felt wrong. It wasn't you," She brought her hand up once again to touch near his wounded eye, "Is that how you got it?" She asked softly, her eyes filled with sadness and sorrow.

Lou turned away, opened one of his drawers and pulled out the panties he had "stolen" from her a couple of weeks earlier during their adventure in her office, "You can have these," He threw the panties at her, "I don't want them anymore. I don't want anything that would remind me of you."

Catherine looked down at the black, lacy panties in her hands and a tear escaped her eyes and slowly made its way down her cheek, landing on the panties. She quickly wiped her eye and looked back up at Lou, "So this is it? You're ending it with me?" She gut only a shrug in response, "Okay," She whispered, nodding slightly, "I'll stay away from you then," She turned and left the room and the house.

She climbed into her car and just stared into empty space for a couple of minutes before she started sobbing.

* * *

><p><strong>ndfbdfbdir don't hate me!<strong>

**Please tell me what you think. Thanks for reading and I promise to update soon!**

**-Zohar xxx**


	7. The Real Drama

**Disclaimer in chapter 1.**

**Rating: K.**

**A/N: I was going to wait with the plot of this chapter for chapter 8 or 9 but I had no idea for something that would come earlier and also I was kinda afraid that Sheena would kill me if I didn't fix things soon ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>The Real Drama<strong>

_**Two weeks later**_

When Catherine showed up in his office it was a bit of a surprise for Lou. It had been two weeks since their break up and they had been trying to stay away from each other ever since. Sometimes they were put on the same cases together, which was a little awkward and uncomfortable at first, but they tried to be as professional as possible. When they weren't working together they would just avoid each other whenever they passed by each other.

The team and the lab workers and even some detectives from PD remembered the fight that occurred two weeks earlier between the couple at the lab's corridors, so they knew better than to mention anything to Catherine or Lou.

Both of them were still heartbroken and at the early stages of getting over the break up. Lou was still mad and couldn't believe that Catherine would actually do such thing. He knew Catherine enough to know that she was a lot of things, but a cheater wasn't one of them.

Catherine had stopped calling Lou. She wanted to believe that eventually he would forgive her and come back to her, so she decided to give him some time. Meanwhile, she kept working and pretending everything was fine and she was fine, pretending it didn't bother her that much, but the spark she usually carried with her to work was gone, and everyday after her shift would end she would go home, put on his clothes that he had left at hers and never came back to take and curl up on her bed.

She wanted nothing more than to kill Chris for ruining one the most important things in her life, but she also knew it was her fault more than it was Chris's. After all, Chris didn't even know she had a boyfriend. She hated herself; she hated herself for giving into the man she hated, the man who had hurt her; she hated herself for messing everything up; she hated herself for hurting Lou, the man she loved with all of her heart.

For two weeks Catherine and Lou acted like colleagues and nothing more, though whenever they passed by each other both of them felt a horrible ache in their heart.

So, when Catherine stood in the doorway to Lou's office two weeks later, Lou was a bit surprised.

"Can I help you?" He looked up at her, trying to be as nice and professional as he could, "I thought I was working with Sanders."

"That's not what I'm here for," She shut the door behind her and walked over to his desk, standing across from him. Just then he noticed the scared look on her face, and he wasn't sure, but it also looked like she had been crying.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

Catherine drew in a deep, shaky breath before saying, "I'm pregnant."

_**Three days earlier**_

At the end of her shift Catherine was sitting in her office, just about to go home, when Sara knocked on the door and walked in, "Hey, Cath, I'm off to Frank's to get some breakfast, I was wondering if you'd like to join me."

"Sure, just give me a second," She finished writing her report, grabbed her jacket and got up, but suddenly got dizzy and fell back onto the chair.

"Cath, you okay?" Sara rushed over to her, concern in her voice.

Catherine held her head, trying to see just one office instead of four, and sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, I guess," She shook her head and got up again, slower this time, grabbed her bag from the couch and headed out of the office, "Let's go."

Sara followed her out, still a little worried about her colleague.

"So, how are you?" Sara asked once the waitress at the diner had brought their food to the table.

"Fine, thanks," Catherine faked a smile and turned to her food.

"No, I mean, how are you?" Sara didn't give up. Catherine looked up at her confused, so she added, "Come on, Catherine, I'm your friend, you know you can talk to me. How are things between you and Vartann?" She asked softly.

Catherin sighed as she dropped her fork back onto the plate, "Honestly? I'm a wreck. I've been pulling doubles just so I wouldn't have to be alone at home 'cause then I start thinking about him too much, I haven't been sleeping straight 'cause I'm not used to the bed being empty and for some reason I'm so emotional all the time! No man had ever made me feel that way," She finally spilled out everything she had been keeping in her stomach for the past two weeks.

Sara smiled softly, "Well, maybe he wasn't like any other man. You did look really happy with him."

"Not helping, Sara," Catherine started eating again.

"Why don't you try talk to him?"

"He won't talk to me. I'm just trying to give him his space, you know, maybe eventually he'll come around."

"I'm sure he will. No man can get over Catherine Willows that easily," Sara smiled and Catherine chuckled. Sara gently put her hand over Catherine's on the table, "I'm sure you'll get back together. You were great together."

Catherine smiled slightly at her.

"You know what?" Sara tried to change the subject, "It's my night off tonight. Why don't you take the night off, too, and we'll go out, get drunk and wake up tomorrow morning with a massive hang over?"

Catherine grinned, "As tempting as it sounds, I think I'll pass. I haven't really been myself lately, I think I just need a good night sleep. Rain check," She added with a smile.

"Sure," Sara smiled and started eating her breakfast.

Seconds later she looked up at Catherine and saw her digging into her food like someone who hasn't eaten for a month, "Whoa, slow down! What are you, a baby dinosaur? You're not even chewing!"

"Don't mock me!" Catherine pointed her fork at Sara.

"I'm not," Sara put her hands in front of her in defense, "I'm just saying. It's only food, it's not going anywhere."

"Yeah, well, I'm hungry. In fact, I've been hungry a lot lately, I keep finding myself eating all the time, non stop."

"Ya know, I've heard that one of the ways of dealing with a break up is eating all the time. But you might wanna calm down a little, after all you don't wanna lose that perfect body of yours, do you?" Sara grinned.

"Why should I care?" Catherine shrugged, "It's not like I have someone to keep this body for anymore, do I?"

Before Sara had the chance to reply Catherine's eyes widened and she dropped her fork once more onto the plate.

"What's wrong?" Sara asked.

Catherine put her hand over her mouth and quickly got up. When she saw Sara getting up as well she pointed at her and stated, "Stay here!" Then ran into the bathroom and threw up everything she had just eaten.

When she had finished vomiting, she got up on shaky legs and walked over to the sink. She leaned on it and looked at her pale, sweaty face in the mirror before splashing cold water over it.

A couple of minutes later she came back out and sat back down in her seat across from a worried Sara.

"What had just happened?" Sara asked.

"I don't know," Catherine sighed and rubbed her face, "I've been throwing up a lot recently. I think I have flu, it's been going around lately."

Sara pressed her palm to Catherine's forehead and shook her head, "Your temperature is fine."

"Weird… Anyway, I'm feeling better now, probably just the food."

Sara looked at her for a few seconds, and suddenly her eyes widened, "Oh, my God, you're pregnant!"

"What?" Catherine semi-whispered as she looked around to check no one had heard her friend.

"Yes! That explains so much: Why you have been sick lately, why you're eating like you haven't seen food in years, why you're so emotional."

"Okay, Sara, stop! I'm not pregnant, okay? This is ridiculous, I can't be pregnant."

"Have you checked?" Sara insisted.

"I don't need to 'cause I'm not. It's just flu, I'm not pregnant."

"Okay, okay," Sara surrendered.

Catherine kept staring at her for a few more seconds before looking back down at her plate, no longer hungry.

"Cath…" Catherine looked back up at Sara, "I understand if you don't want to answer this, but… did you and Vartann always use protection?"

"Of course we…" Catherine stopped mid sentence and stared into empty space, trying to remember, then her eyes widened, "Oh, crap."

15 minutes later they were both running around the supermarket, trying to locate pregnancy tests, when Sara called Catherine over to a shelf full of pregnancy tests of all kinds.

"Okay, which one should I take?" Catherine looked at Sara as they rummaged through the boxes.

"Take this one," Sara held up a Swiss pregnancy test, and when Catherine arched her eyebrow she added, "It's Swiss, they're always precise."

Catherine grabbed the box and took another two from the shelf, then turned to look at Sara, who was frowning, "Just in case."

* * *

><p>Sara sat on the couch in Catherine's living room and tapped her foot on the floor impatiently. She jumped up on her feet when the door to the living room opened and Catherine was stood in the doorway looking like she had just seen death.<p>

"Well?" Sara questioned and Catherine held out the positive test, sighing.

Sara looked at the test, then back up at Catherine. She saw the devastated look on her friend's face and her heart broke, "Why don't you try another one? Just to be sure."

"Sara, I already did two tests and they're both positive," Catherine flopped down onto the couch, "I don't think another one would show otherwise. I'm pregnant," She sighed and put her head in her hand.

Sara sat back down and rubbed her back soothingly.

"This can't be happening," Catherine shook her head still in her hands, "I can't be pregnant. I'm too old for that, I don't have the time or energy. I don't even have a partner," She started crying quietly.

"Oh, come here," Sara pulled her into a hug and she cried into her chest. When she finally stopped crying and was only sniffing, Catherine pulled out of Sara's embrace and wiped her eyes, than looked straight into Sara's.

"Sara, you can't tell anyone about it, you hear me?"

"Okay," Sara nodded.

"Promise me. Promise me you won't tell anyone."

"Cath, I promise," She gently put her hand on Catherine's shoulder, "But what are you going to do?"

Catherine sniffed and wiped her eyes again, "I'm gonna abort," She started and got up.

"What?" Sara looked up at her before standing up herself.

"What else do you expect me to do? I'm a 43 year old woman with a job that takes half of her time and on top of that all, my boyfriend had just left me. I can't do this all by myself, I can't go through with this again. It was hard enough to be a single mother to Lindsey, I can't do it again, I just don't have the energy," She thought the tears that were threatening to come out again.

"Well, at least tell Vartann about it."

"No!"

"Catherine, he has the right to know."

"He doesn't need to know about it 'cause there's not going to be any baby. Besides," She looked down, "He wants nothing to do with me. If I come up to him and tell him I'm pregnant he'll think that it's just my way to get him back. Forget about it, Sara," She shook her head and sniffed again, "I'm not going to tell him. I'm going to go to the doctors tomorrow and have an abortion. I want to get it over with as soon as possible."

Sara nodded in response, "Well, at least let me come with you. You can't go through this alone."

"Okay," Catherine nodded slightly, "Thanks."

The next day Catherine and Sara sat together at the waiting area at the clinic, waiting to be called. Sara was going through some pregnancy magazines while Catherine tapped her feet on the floor nervously.

"First pregnancy?" She suddenly heard a soft voice from across her, and she looked up to see a woman around the age of 30 with a rounded belly smiling warmly at her.

"Uhh, no. Second," Catherine attempted to smile at the girl, "You?"

"My third time," She smiled and stroked her belly, "I have two boys."

"Oh, that's nice," Catherine smiled slightly. She was trying to avoid a conversation; she wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, she just wanted to get over with the abortion and forget about the whole thing.

"Is your other kid excited about the baby?" The woman asked.

"Um, no, she doesn't know yet," Catherine looked around her impatiently, waiting for her name to be called.

"Oh, when are you planning on telling her then?"

"I don't know."

"My boys can't wait to see their new brother or sister," The woman smiled, "Oh, by the way, I'm Molly," She held out her hand for Catherine to shake it.

Catherine knew that there was no way she could avoid a conversation with that woman, so she shook it, "Catherine."

"Nice to meet you, Catherine," Molly smiled, "So, are you excited about the baby?"

"Actually, I haven't had the time to get excited, I had just found out about the pregnancy."

"Oh, well, I'm sure it'll start sinking in soon. Pregnancy is an amazing thing, I'm sure you already know it," The woman stroked her stomach again, the warm smile never leaving her face, "And kids… kids are a blessing. I love kids so much, I could have another ten. I honestly don't understand those young girls who abort their babies just because they decide that they can't raise a baby, it just irritates me," Catherine's face dropped at Molly's words, "But, hey," Molly smiled, "We're both past this stage in life. We're both grown women who know how great it is to have children, right?"

Before Catherine had a chance to respond the receptionist called her name.

_'Oh, thank God!'_

"You coming?" Sara stood up and looked down at Catherine.

"Yeah," Catherine got up and turned to Molly, "It was nice meeting you."

"You, too," Molly smiled as Catherine and Sara walked into the doctor's office.

As she was lying on the bed in the doctor's office, staring up at the ceiling, Catherine thought about the conversation she had just have with the stranger from the waiting area. This woman really made her doubt her decision to abort the baby and Catherine didn't like it.

"Ms. Willows, how can I help you?" The doctor walked into the room and over to her bed.

"I'm pregnant and I wanna have an abortion," She said simply.

"Okay," The doctor nodded, "Let's just do an ultrasound to check how the baby's doing."

Catherine nodded in response and the doctor rubbed the cold gel on her abdomen. Suddenly, the room filled with the sound of heartbeats.

"Oh, my God, Catherine, it's amazing," Sara smiled as she looked at the monitor and listened to the baby's heartbeats, but Catherine refused to look. She turned her head away from the monitor as a tear escaped her eye.

Sara looked down at Catherine for a moment, then back up at the monitor and frowned, "Where's the baby?" She tried to locate it.

"You can't see it just yet," The doctor replied, "She's still in the early stages of the pregnancy, I'd say about 6-7 weeks."

"Can we just get it over with?" They suddenly heard Catherine's quiet voice. The doctor nodded and cleaned the gel from her abdomen.

"Cath, you sure you want to do this?" Sara looked down at her. Catherine looked at her, but didn't reply.

"Okay, you ready?" The doctor asked. Catherine drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes. Suddenly, a picture of Molly, the woman from earlier, flashed through her mind and the guilt came back to her. Then, Molly disappeared and she suddenly saw Lou's face.

_'No. I can't do it. I can't kill this baby. It's the only thing I have left from Lou; I'm not going to lose it, too. No way.'_

"Wait!" She opened her eyes. Sara and the doctor looked down at her and she took a deep breath, "I don't want an abortion. I want to keep this baby."

"Cath, are you sure?" Sara looked down at her a little shocked.

"No, I'm not," She said as she got off the bed and grabbed her clothes from the chair, "Sorry for wasting your time, Doctor."

She quickly got dressed and left the office, Sara walking behind her, still not sure what had just happened.

The following day Catherine didn't show up for work. She spent the day lying in bed with a hand rested gently on her stomach and wearing Lou's clothes like she had been doing for the past two weeks. She knew she had to tell him but she didn't know how, she didn't even know if she could.

_'He's probably gonna think I'm lying just so we can get back together. Why should he believe me, anyway? I already showed him that he can't trust me.'_

* * *

><p>"You're what?" Shock was written all over Lou's face and he wasn't sure he had heard correctly.<p>

Catherine looked down and sighed, "I'm pregnant."

"How can you be pregnant?" Lou got up.

"I think you were there, too," Catherine arched an eyebrow at him.

He started pacing the office, then he suddenly stopped, turned to face her and sighed, "Catherine, is it mine?"

Catherine's head snapped up, _'Ouch! __That __hurt __like __being __stabbed! __Okay, __okay, __I __deserve __it. __Besides, __it's __only __fair __that __he'd __think __it's __Chris's.'_

"Yes, it's yours," She sighed, "The doctor says I'm 6-7 weeks far away - that was before Chris."

"Wait, you went to the doctor?

"Yeah," She looked back down, "I wanted to abort."

Lou's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, "Abort? Did you…"

"If I did, would I be standing here right now and telling you I'm pregnant?" Catherine snapped.

"Okay, okay. Well, you're not going to abort this baby, you're gonna keep it. I'll help you."

"You will?" Catherine looked up at him surprised.

"Well, it's my baby, too. What happened between us has nothing to do with it. I want to be part of this baby's life."

"Lou, you don't have to-"

"It wasn't a question, Catherine," He cut her off, "I'm the father of this baby and I'm gonna be part of its life. It doesn't mean I forgive you, 'cause I don't, but I am going to help you with the pregnancy and the baby."

Catherine's eyes filled with tears but she wouldn't let them out. She was glad to hear that Lou wanted this baby and that he was going to help her and not leave her to deal with it by herself, but hearing him say that he wasn't going to forgive her broke her heart. The feeling that there was still a chance of him coming back to her was gone. She knew that right now she had him only for the baby, but she was grateful for that.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading, promise to update soon!<strong>

**Leave me a review please (:**

**-Zohar.**


	8. Dealing with the Pregnancy

**Duisclaimer in Chapter 1.**

**Rating: K.**

* * *

><p><strong>Dealing with the Pregnancy<strong>

It had been two months since Catherine found out about the pregnancy and she was still barely showing. She and Lou had decided not to tell anyone just yet; people knew about their break up and they didn't want to deal with the questions. Some people didn't even know they used to date and they thought of them as just colleagues.

One night Catherine and Sara, the only one who knew about the pregnancy, sat in the break room when Greg walked in. Sara was watching TV and didn't even notice Greg, and Catherine was digging into her third mean that night.

Greg opened the fridge and looked inside, "Did anyone see the salad I brought earlier?" He closed the door and stood up straight.

Catherine slowly raised her head from the bowl in front of her and turned her head to look at him, "It was yours?" She asked, mouthful of salad, and quickly swallowed it.

Greg looked at her, then at the almost empty bowl on the table and then back at her, "You ate it?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was yours and I was really hungry and couldn't find anything else."

Greg sighed and sat down next to her, "What about your food?"

"Already eaten it," Catherine was feeling bad, so she added, "Sorry, Greg, I'll buy you a new salad."

"No, forget about it," He said, then looked at her and frowned, "Didn't you bring two sandwiches with you tonight? How could you still be hungry?"

"Do you have a problem with me being hungry?" She glared at him, then got up and walked over to the coffee machine.

"When it comes to _my_ food, I do," He turned in his chair and looked her up and down, "And… no offense, but… you might wanna slow down a little, you've been eating like there's no tomorrow recently and you're starting to get a little…"

"What? Fat?" Catherine snapped at him with a killer's look on her face. Just then Sara turned away from the TV to see what the noise was all about.

"No… I… I didn't mean…" Greg stuttered, but Sara cut him off.

"Just go, Greg," She said with slight amusement in her voice, glancing at Catherine, who was standing furious by the coffee machine with a cup of coffee in her hand.

Greg, a little intimidated by Catherine, turned his head to look at Sara, "I really didn't mean to-"

"Just go," She smiled reassuringly.

Greg got up and walked to the door, and then turned around to face Catherine, "Sorry, Cath," He mumbled, then turned back around and left the room.

Catherine sighed and walked back over to the table, slumping down onto her chair, and sipped her coffee.

"You know, you really shouldn't drink that," Sara pointed to the cup on coffee in Catherine's hand.

"Am I really getting fat?" Catherine turned her head to look at Sara, ignoring what she had just said.

"Cath, you're pregnant, that's the whole concept of pregnancy," Sara smiled softly, "And you will get bigger eventually, people will start noticing soon."

"I know," Catherine sighed, "I just don't want people to know just yet."

"Well, you're four months far away and you're barely showing, I think you're gonna be fine. What does Vartann say about not letting people know?"

"It was his idea, actually," Catherine said, "He didn't want any questions and I agree with him. I think it's best to keep this a secret as long as possible."

"And how are things between the two of you?"

Catherine groaned and put her head in her hands.

"That bad, huh?"

"He hates me, Sara," She looked up at her, tears now feeling her eyes, "He hates me. He's only willing to help me with the pregnancy, other than that, nothing. He's so… cold all the time; he barely even talks to me. I've really messed things up, he doesn't love me anymore."

"He loves you," Sara smiled softly.

"No, he doesn't," Catherine wiped her eyes to stop the tears from pouring out.

"Yes, he does," Sara insisted, "If he didn't love you, do you really think he would be hurting so much? If he didn't love you he wouldn't care that you slept with another man and he wouldn't still be so cold around you."

"So, you're saying that he hates me because he loves me?" Catherine sniffed.

"Exactly. He's heartbroken, that's all. You just need to give him time to forget about everything and forgive you. I'm sure that when the baby comes he'll forget about everything and the two of you will get back together," Sara smiled.

Catherine smiled back, but before she had a chance to reply, D.B. walked into the break room, "Catherine, Sara, you working a case?" They both looked up at him and shook their heads, "You are now. 419 at The Palermo," He left the paper with the information on the table and left.

* * *

><p>Later that night Catherine and Sara were sitting in the interrogation room and questioning a suspect when suddenly Catherine felt a familiar feeling in her stomach; something she had been feeling for quite a while. She knew that if she didn't get up and left the room right away, there would be a big problem.<p>

Without having the time to explain, she got up and ran out of the room, leaving Sara and the suspect looking after her confused. Unfortunately, she didn't make it to the bathroom and she threw up just outside the room, making everyone in the corridor look at her shocked and worried.

Just then Lou walked over, "Catherine?"

She looked up at him, embarrassment written all over her face, "Oh, God, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, the cleaning lady will take care of it, let's go get you some water," He put his hand on her back, and she straightened up and walked with him to his office.

Once the door was shut, she slumped down onto his couch, "God, I'm so embarrassed!" She put her head in her hands.

"Don't be," He poured some water into a glass and gave it to her, "You're pregnant, it happens."

She took the glass in her hands and sipped the water, "Thanks for helping me," Lou only shrugged in response.

"So, do you have any plans for Christmas?" She looked up at him.

"No, not really," He sat down by his desk and started doing his paperwork.

"I remember we planned on spending Christmas together," She smiled slightly, "You know, decorating the tree together and sit by the fire with hot chocolate and Christmas movies," He voice became a little dreamy.

Lou looked up briefly, then back down at his files, "Yeah, well, things have changed."

"I know," Catherine nodded, "I cheated on you," She whispered, looking down at the glass in her hands, "I've already bought the tree," She smiled slightly.

When he didn't reply she sighed and got up, "Well, I'll see you around, I guess," He nodded, not looking up from him paperwork, and she left the office. When the door closed he sighed and rubbed his face.

_'How could I think it'd be so easy to get over Catherine Willows?'_

* * *

><p>Later that day Catherine was sitting alone at home, lazing on the couch in front of the TV, when she heard a knock on the door. She got up and walked over to the door, opening it, only to find her mother standing on the other side with her arms crossed, not looking impressed at all.<p>

"Hey, mom, what are you doing here?"

"Is it right?" Lily got right to the point.

"What's right?" Catherine asked confused as she moved aside to let her mother in.

Lily walked into the house and turned to face her daughter again, "Are you pregnant?"

Catherine sighed and shut the door before turning to face Lily, "How did you hear?"

"I talked to Lindsey yesterday."

_'I told her not to tell anyone!'_

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lily asked.

"I didn't want anyone to know just yet," Catherine walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch, Lily following and sitting down next to her.

"How far along are you?"

"Four months," Catherine replied.

"Four months? When were you going to tell me, when the baby turned 18?"

"Mom, you're overreacting. And I just found out about it myself two months ago."

Lily sighed, "Well, at least tell me you know who the father is."

Catherine's mouth dropped open; in other words, her mother had just called her a whore, "Of course I do, Mom! I don't sleep around!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Well, who is it? I didn't know you're dating someone."

"Because I don't," Catherine looked down, "I did, but we're no longer together. I found out I'm pregnant after we broke up and we decided not to get back together but keep the baby."

"Why don't you get back together?"

"It's a little personal."

"Catherine, I am your mother."

"Well, I don't wanna talk about it, okay?" Catherine got up and walked to the kitchen, Lily following her.

"Do I know him?"

"No, he works with me, he's name is Lou," Catherine opened the cupboard, took out a small bag of crisps and opened it.

"You're dating a colleague?"

"Dated," Catherine dag into the crisps.

"Catherine, don't snap, but I think you're doing a mistake," Catherine stopped eating and looked at her mother, but before she could say a word, Lily continued, "Do you remember how hard it was to be a single mother to Lindsey? Especially with your job. I had to watch her all the time. Not that I'm complaining – you know how much I love her – but I'm too old now, and you can't raise a baby alone and do your job."

"Mom, stop!" Catherine stopped her, "I'm not going to raise this baby alone, okay? Just because we're not getting back together doesn't mean Lou's not gonna raise the baby with me."

"That's what he's telling you now, but honey, you'll see that as soon as he finds someone new he'll forget about you and the baby."

"Jeez, thanks, Mom. I'm glad to know that you think I'm so easy to get over."

"I didn't mean it like that. I don't think you're easy to get over or not good enough for him, but all men are like that, and there's nothing we can do about it."

"Well, I know Lou and I trust him. Besides, he wanted me to keep the baby, I wanted to abort it," She left the kitchen, not wanting to deal with her mother's reaction.

"Abort it?" Lily turned to face her daughter, "You can't kill your baby! What's wrong with you, Catherine?"

"I didn't kill it, so why does it matter? Look, Mom, you can either support me and my decisions or walk out of the door now, I won't stop you," Catherine looked at Lily with a hand on her hip.

"I'm not abandoning you, Catherine, why would you think that?"

"Then I really need your support, because honestly, I don't have a lot of it right now and I really need you," She finally broke down and gave into her emotions.

"Oh, honey," Lily walked over to her and pulled her into a hug, "I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere," She whispered into her hair, "I'm going to support you and help you with whatever you need," She pulled back a little to look at Catherine's face, "I just want to be sure that you know what you're doing."

"I know what I'm doing," Catherine looked into her eyes, "And I'm sure about it."

"Okay then," Lily smiled and wiped Catherine's tears away, "Then I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Mom," Catherine smiled softly and hugged her again.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter is not exactly how I expected it to be, but it's just because I didn't want the plot of the next chapter to be in this one. I'm gonna update soon, maybe even tonight (:<strong>

**Meanwhile, leave me some reviews (:**

**-Zohar.**


	9. Merry Christmas

**Disclaimer in chapter 1.**

**Rating: M.**

**A/N: Publishing another chapter tonight for Sheena (sheshemarie) ;) Sorry for any mistakes, it's 4am! And I'm Jewish, which means I've never celebrated Chrstmas, so I don't know much about it. Okay, read now ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Merry Chrstmas<strong>

Christmas Eve.

Las Vegas was shining with Christmas lights and Christmas songs were sung by families in their decorated homes. Santa's were sitting in the malls with little kids on their knees, kids were helping their parents wrap up presents and place them under the decorated trees. LVPD and the Las Vegas crime lab's corridors were almost empty; everyone was celebrating Christmas with their families and friends.

Only one house in a quiet neighborhood in Vegas was silent and empty of people and presents, and just a Christmas tree was placed in the corner of the living room. On the couch was lying a strawberry-blonde, Skyping with her daughter, who couldn't come home from college.

Catherine had decided not to celebrate Christmas this year. She was invited to the LVPD Christmas party, and at first she considered going, hoping that Lou would be there, but when she found out he wasn't going, she decided to spend a quiet Christmas as home.

"Mom, you sure you don't want me to come?" Lindsey's face was reflecting from Catherine's laptop screen.

"I'm sure," Catherine smiled softly at her daughter, "Go have fun with your friends. Just don't get too drunk or do anything stupid," She warned.

"You're the one who's pregnant, Mom, not me," Lindsey teased, making Catherine smile, "Well, I gotta go, I'm going to a party."

"Okay, sweetie, have fun," They blew each other kisses, said their goodbyes and Lindsey left, leaving Catherine alone again in the big, empty house.

She looked around and sighed.

_'Why did I have to ruin everything? A few months ago everything was perfect, we were happy. And now I'm spending Christmas alone.'_

The sound of a ringing phone interrupted her thoughts. She reached for her phone and her eyes widened slightly as she saw the name 'Lou' on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Caaath!" She heard him shout on the other end.

"Lou? What's going on? Are you okay?" She sat up worried.

"I'm perfectly fine!" he replied, his words slurred, "I miss you."

"Lou, are you drunk?" She sighed.

"What? No!"

"Lou."

"Okay, maybe just a little bit."

"I'm hanging up."

"No, no, no! Don't hang up. Come here, let's have some fun!"

Catherine closed her eyes and sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, "Okay," She surrendered, "Where are you?"

* * *

><p>15 minutes later she walked into the pub Lou was sitting at. She looked around with a hand on her small bump, finally locating Lou sat on the bar and downing shots of Tequila. She walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, making him jump slightly.<p>

He spun around and smiled when he saw her, "Caaath!" He cheered.

"Lou, why did you call me here?"

"You said you wanted to spend Christmas together. Come on, sit down," He patted the stool next to him and Catherine sat down, then he turned to the bartender, "Two more shots of Tequila," He ordered.

"Lou, I can't drink, I'm pregnant."

"Oh, right, right," He turned to the bartender again with a smug smile on his face, "She's carrying my baby," He grinned and Catherine rolled her eyes.

"Lou, let's go," She placed a hand on his arm, "I'll take you home."

"Can we go back to yours?" He turned to look at her with pleading eyes, the ones that Catherine could never resist.

"Okay, fine," She gave up, "Let's just get out of here."

Lou drowned his last shot and they got up and left the pub.

* * *

><p>Catherine opened her front door and walked into the house, Lou following behind. As soon as the door closed, Lou's lips crashed on Catherine's. Taken by surprise, it took Catherine a few seconds to register what was happening before kissing him back. He pinned her against the nearest wall, making her moan quietly into his mouth, and started moving his kisses down to her jaw line and neck.<p>

"Lou…" Catherine moaned out, tilting her head to the side to grant him more access to her neck. It had been too long since the last time she was intimate with someone and with the pregnancy her hormones were all over the place, and just by feeling his lips and hot breath on her neck she was getting unbelievably wet.

_'Catherine, get a grip on yourself! He's drunk, he doesn't know what he's doing and… ohh, but it feels sooo good! No! Stop! Don't take advantage of his situation, no matter how horny you are.'_

With that in mind, she placed her palms on his chest and pushed him away, "Stop."

"Why? Don't you want it?" He nibbled on her ear as he pushed his hand into her pants and panties, feeling how wet she was, and ran his fingers over her folds, eliciting a throaty moan from her, "You've obviously been thinking about it," He whispered in her ear.

It was so hard to resist him when his hot breath was hitting her ear, sending shivers to her spine, and his fingers were teasing her clit, but she knew she had to. He was drunk and wasn't thinking straight; she didn't want him to regret it in the morning.

"Lou, I'm serious," She pushed him away again, "I don't want to do it; not like this, not when you're drunk," She tried to relax her breath, leaning against the wall.

"Whatever," Lou turned and walked toward the living room, sitting down on the couch.

Catherine straightened her clothes and walked over to the couch. She sat down next to him and gently placed her hand on his back.

"Why don't you want me?" Lou asked quietly without looking at her. He was still a bit drunk.

"I do want you," Catherine rubbed his back soothingly.

"No, you don't. I was never good enough for you."

"You were more than good enough for me."

He finally turned his head to look at her with sadness in his eyes, making her stop the movement of her hand on his back, "Then why did you cheat on me? Why did you sleep with him?"

Catherine sighed and looked down, "Because I'm stupid," She whispered.

There was a minute of silence before Lou spoke up again, "I should probably go, can you call me a cab?" He got up and looked down at her.

"You can crush here," She looked up at him and he raised his eyebrow, "I don't want you to be alone in your state," She said.

"Okay," He nodded, not wanting to argue, "I'll just sleep on the sofa."

"You sure? You can have the spare room."

"No, I'm fine here," He sat back down on the couch.

"Okay," Catherine got up, "I'll get you some blankets," She left the room and went upstairs and into her room. She opened the cupboard and took out some blankets, then turned to leave the room when a picture of her and Lou caught her eye. She sighed and left the room, going back downstairs only to find Lou already passed out on the couch.

She smiled softly as she walked over and covered him with the blankets, and then bent down and pressed a soft kiss to his temple, making him stir slightly in his sleep.

"Goodnight, Lou," She whispered before heading upstairs to her bedroom, changing into her pajamas and climbing into bed. She placed her hand on her bump and slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Lou woke up with a massive headache. He sat up on the couch and looked around, slowly remembering the previous night. He groaned and held his head in his hands, wanting the headache and embarrassment to go away.

"Good morning," Catherine came smiling from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hand. She sat down next to him and handed him the cup, "Thought you might need it."

"Thanks," He took the cup in his hand and sipped the coffee, and then looked at her, "You're not drinking?" He pointed to the coffee.

"Pregnant, remember?" She gently patted her slightly rounded tummy, and when he frowned in confusion she smiled softly, "The caffeine isn't good for the baby."

"Oh," He nodded.

After a few minutes of silence Catherine reached for a wrapped present on the coffee table and held it out, "I got you a present," She smiled. Lou opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off, "And before you say anything, I know we're no longer together and I know you hate me, but I saw it a few days ago when I went shopping and I remembered you've told me you wanted it, so…"

Lou looked at her for a couple of seconds before turning to the present and unwrapping the wrapping paper, revealing a book he's wanted for a long time.

"Thanks," he looked down at the book, and then handed it back to Catherine, "But I can't accept it."

"Yes, you can. Come on, just as friends."

"That's what you're not getting, Catherine, I'm not your friend," Within a second the sweet smile on Catherine's face was replaced with hurt and she felt like someone had just shot her, "I'm sorry," Lou continued, "But you probably don't understand how much you hurt me; I was really in love with you; I was willing to do anything for you. But you had to go and sleep with some other dude and break my heart," Catherine just sat there frozen and listened to him silently with tears in her eyes.

"If it wasn't for the baby I wouldn't be here right now. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to be around you all the time? To see your face everyday?"

He stopped for a moment, and then continued, "I promised I'd help you with the pregnancy and be a father to this baby," He pointed to her bump, his eyes glued to hers to let her know that he was serious, "But we're not getting back together and, as awful as that sounds, I'm not interested in being your friend, not after what you did. I hope you can understand."

He got up and put the book on the coffee table, "Thanks for the coffee," He left the living room and the house, leaving Catherine still frozen on the couch with a tear rolling down her cheek.

* * *

><p><strong>I just realized that I end a lot of chapters with Cath crying. Oh, well ;P<strong>

**Thanks for reading, tell me what you think. I need to get some sleep.**

**-Zohar.**


	10. The Scan

**Disclaimer in chapter 1.**

**Rating: K.**

**A/N: I didn't want you guys to hate me after the preivious chapter so I ~kinda~ fixed things ;) Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>The Scan<strong>

It had been a few weeks since Christmas and Catherine and Lou had been even more distant than usual. Lou would still come over to her house whenever she needed him and help her with whatever she needed, but things were even more awkward than before.

Catherine finally understood that Lou wanted nothing to do with her, and like he said, if there wasn't a baby in the picture she would probably just see him at work from time to time.

One morning Sara walked into the diner and saw Lou sitting by the counter. She walked over and ordered herself coffee to go before turning to Lou.

"Breakfast?" She nodded toward his plate.

Lou looked up at her and swallowed the food in his mouth before replying, "Dinner."

Sara nodded, smiling, and sat down next to him, waiting for her coffee.

"So, Catherine told me you're coming with her to the scan today."

"Yep." Lou nodded and continued eating.

"You know, you might want to try and be a little nicer to her, you're breaking her heart."

"She broke mine first," Lou mumbled, looking down at his plate.

"Whatever, it's none of my business," Sara gave up. The waitress brought her coffee over and she took it, got up and made her way to the door, but stopped and walked back over to him.

"You know what? It is my business 'cause Catherine is my friend and I hate seeing her like this." Lou opened his mouth to say something, but she stopped him, "I know she cheated on you, and I'm not saying it's okay, but you're being immature and you're just making her stressed, which isn't good for the baby. She made a mistake, we all do. The question is, can you forgive her?"

Lou looked down and she continued, "I know it's hard, but you can at least try and be a little bit nicer, it won't kill you." When she finished her lecture she turned on her heels and left the diner.

Later that day Catherine was lying on the bed in the doctor's office when Lou rushed in.

"Sorry I'm late," He panted. "I couldn't get out of work earlier."

"It's okay," Catherine said, looking at him briefly before looking away. "I know what it's like."

Lou stood next to her bed as the doctor walked in, greeted both of them and rubbed the gel on Catherine's bump. Lou's eyes snapped up to the monitor as he heard the baby's heartbeats filling the room. Both he and Catherine saw the little head, palms and feet, and a smile spread across their faces.

"Is that my baby?" Lou whispered and the doctor nodded.

Catherine looked up at him with a smile just as big as his. "That's our baby," She whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Would you like me to scan you some photos?" The doctor asked and they both looked up at him.

"Yes, please," Lou said. The doctor nodded and left the room.

"Can you pass me the tissues, please?" Catherine sat up, trying to reach for a box of tissues.

"Sure." Lou grabbed it and handed it to her.

"Thanks." She took out a tissue and cleaned her abdomen before throwing the tissue away and getting up, not making any eye contact with Lou.

"Uhh… look, Catherine," Lou looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry for what I said to you on Christmas."

"Forget about it, I understand," Catherine said as she took her bag from the chair.

"No, I didn't mean it. What I meant is that it's still hard for me and it's going to take me some time to forgive you. But I am going to try and be nicer; I don't want anything bad to happen to the baby and, to be honest, I'm tired of fighting."

Catherine looked at him, listening silently to every word that came out of his mouth. When he finished talking she said, "Well, thank you, I appreciate it. I know how hard it is for you to be around me all the time after what I did and I understand why you're being like this; I would've hate me, too if I were you."

"I don't hate you."

"Yes, you do. And it's okay, I understand. If cheating on you wasn't enough, now I put you in this awkward and uncomfortable situation. I'm surprise you haven't left me alone with this baby."

"I would never." Lou moved a little closer and put his hand on her bump. "No matter what happened between us, I'm the father of this baby and I'm not leaving."

"Thank you." Catherine smiled slightly. Lou smiled softly, then leaned down and softly kissed her bump, making Catherine look down at him shocked.

"What?" He looked up at her, standing back up.

"Nothing, it's just the first time you did it."

"I just wanted to kiss my baby," He smiled slightly. "Wanted him to know me."

Catherine smiled softly just as the doctor walked back in with the scan photos. "There you go," He handed them to Lou. "You can pay at the reception."

"Thanks." Lou smiled and he and Catherine left the office.

After paying for the photos they climbed into Lou's car and Catherine turned to look at him, "I think we should tell people about the pregnancy."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I'm getting bigger and people at work are starting to notice, and I'm a little sick of all the jokes about how fat I've gotten. Can you believe that a few days ago the new girl from Ballistics gave me the number of her dietitian?" Lou laughed softly. "Besides, they're my friends, they're like a family to me, and I think I want them to know."

"Okay," Lou nodded. "When do you want to tell them?"

"How about tonight at work?"

"Sounds good," He nodded and drove Catherine back to her house before going home.

* * *

><p>That night Catherine and Lou walked together into the break room at the lad, delighted to see that the whole team was there.<p>

"Good, you're all here," Catherine smiled, and everyone looked up at her and Lou. "Lou and I have something to tell you."

"Are you two getting back together?" Morgan asked.

"No, but…" Catherine turned her head to look at Lou and he nodded in response. Taking a deep breath, she smiled and said, "We're having a baby."

Everyone's eyes widened as they heard the big news and the room suddenly became silent.

"Okay, you can say something now," Catherine said with a nervous smile on her face.

"You're not getting back together, but you're having a baby together?" Greg frowned.

"I found out I was pregnant after we split up," Catherine answered calmly.

"So why aren't you getting back together?" Greg insisted and Sara hit him lightly on the arm.

"That's their business."

"How far along are you?" Morgan asked.

"Five months," Catherine answered.

"Five months? And you're just telling us now?" Nick burst into the conversation.

"Guys, Catherine doesn't owe anyone an explanation," Lou said as Catherine was just about to apologize. "She just wanted you to know because you're her friends-"

"And because I'm sick of people telling me how fat I've gotten," Catherine completed his sentence, glaring at Greg and Morgan who sat together with the eyebrows slightly raised.

"Wow, that explains so much," Morgan said.

"Explains what?" Catherine asked.

"Your mood swings, why you would randomly throw up at crime scenes… getting fat," She whispered the last part, afraid of Catherine's reaction.

"And don't forget her cravings for weird food," Nick added, laughing.

Just then D.B. walked into the room. "What's going on?"

"Cath's pregnant," Nick smiled.

"Congratulations!" D.B. turned to Catherine with a smile on his face, and then added, "Who's the father?"

Catherine rolled her eyes with a groan, turned on her heels and left the room.

"Did I say something wrong?" D.B. frowned, looking after her, and then back at the team.

"Hormones," Lou smiled at D.B. before leaving and going to work.

* * *

><p><strong>Kinda crappy endind, I know, I didn't exactly know how to finish this chapter. BUT I hope you liked it. Tell me what you think (:<strong>

**-Zohar.**


	11. Preparing for the Baby

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1.**

**Rating: T.**

**A/N: I hope that after this chapter you'll hate me ~a little~ less ;) Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Preparing for the Baby<strong>

"I don't want to know the baby's sex; I want it to be a surprise," Catherine stated as she checked out a pram.

She was six months far along and she and Lou had decided to go baby shopping. For the past month there was less tension between the couple – except for some random fights sometimes, usually caused by Catherine's hormones – and they were getting along pretty well, although whenever Lou considered forgetting what she had done and forgiving her he pictured her in bed with Chris – the bed _he _used to share with her – and it made him sick and angry. So, they settled on just being nice to each other and not mentioning the cause to their break up.

"Why not?" Lou asked while rummaging through the shelves in the store.

"Because I want it to be a surprise," Catherine repeated herself and turned to face him. "Look, when I was pregnant with Lindsey I also didn't want to know whether she was a boy or a girl, but Eddie insisted on finding out, so I gave up. I was weaker back then. Please don't make me give up this time." She looked at him with her big blue eyes, almost begging.

"Okay, okay," He gave up, "Then it'll be a surprise. But how are we supposed to buy baby stuff if we don't know whether it's a boy or a girl?"

"We'll choose neutral colors." Catherine smiled in satisfaction and turned back to the prams.

They kept on walking around the store and putting things in the cart Lou was dragging when a beautiful, white crib with little bright stars all over it caught Lou's eyes and he stopped by it, staring at it. When Catherine noticed he was no longer walking with her she turned around and saw him staring at the crib.

"What are you doing?" She walked over to him and looked down at the crib, then back up at him.

"What do you think about this crib?" His eyes left the crib and fixated on hers.

"It's beautiful." She stared at the crib, admiring it, and then checked the price tag. "But it's too expensive." She turned to walk away, but Lou stopped her.

"You don't have to worry about it; I said I'd buy the crib."

"Lou, it costs like your salary." She turned back to face him.

"Like I said," Lou insisted, "You don't have to worry about it, it's on me."

"Fine!" She threw her hands in the air, and walked away.

Already used to her hormones and mood swings, Lou chuckled and turned to one of the sellers, telling her he'd like to buy the crib.

After paying for everything they had got, Catherine and Lou headed outside to the parking lot. Lou was putting everything in the trunk when Catherine spotted a McDonald's branch and her face lit up.

"Lou, let's go there." She pointed to the big 'M' sign. "I'm starving!"

Lou looked up at the sign, then back at her. "No way, I'm not going there," He shook his head. "This place is full of little, noisy kids running everywhere and making a mess; it's chaos."

Catherine glared at him, folding her arms. "You know, you're gonna have to get used to it 'cause you'll have one of these little noisy kids soon." She pointed to her rounded belly, her hormones kicking in again.

"Yeah, but this kid will be mine. I don't even know these kids, I don't have to stand being around them."

"Yeah? And when our child will want to hang out with its friends in one of those places and I won't be home to take them, you won't take them because you can't stand those places?" She started getting emotional and tears were starting to fill her eyes, and then she started panicking, "And then they'll hate our child and won't invite it to anything, and it'll be lonely all the time, and all of this because of you!" She punched his chest. "Because you wouldn't take them to fucking McDonald's!"

Lou smiled softly and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently, as she took deep breaths, trying to calms her hormones. "No one is going to hate our child, okay? I promise you. You can calm down." Catherine only nodded slightly in response.

"Hey, you know what? I have an idea. Let's go to McDonald's," he said cheerfully.

"Okay," Catherine whispered, sniffing. "Sorry for snapping."

"It's okay, I'm used to it." Lou smiled softly and led her into McDonald's.

He sat by a table away from all the kids and waited while Catherine was ordering herself a meal that could be enough for a whole family of elephants. She was standing by the counter and waiting for her meal when she heard a familiar voice, "Matthew, come here! Don't run away!" She turned her head in the direction of the voice and her body filled with rage and hate. Right next to her was standing the man she hated, the man who had ruined one of the most important things in her life – her relationship with Lou. Right next to her was standing Chris Bezich.

_'Crap! I need to get outa here before he notices me! Shit! Lou's here! That's the last thing I need: the two of them in the same place with me in the middle.'_

The voice of the teenage girl behind the counter interrupted her thoughts, "There you go, Ma'am." She handed Catherine the tray with her food.

"Thanks," Catherine said and quickly turned to leave, but Chris recognized her voice and turned to face her with a smile on his face.

"Cath!"

She closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath, and turned around to see him smiling at her, but then his eyes drifted down to her bump and widened. "Woah…"

"What the hell are you doing here?" She made his eyes snap back up to meet her furious ones.

"I'm here with my nephew." He smiled and turned around. "Matthew!" He turned back to face her. "Sorry, he's a little hyper." Catherine glared at him with one hand holding up the tray filled with food, the other one on her hip, and her foot tapping on the floor.

"So, uh… this is new," He pointed to her belly. "Is it mine?"

Catherine's eyes widened at his question. _'Okay, Catherine, calm down. Don't throw the tray at him. I repeat, DO NOT throw the tray at him!'_

"No, it's not! It's Lou's!" She snapped.

"Lou?" Chris frowned. "Oh, the guy who broke my nose? I spent nearly a month with that stupid bandage on my nose because of him."

"I'll remember to thank him." She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm.

"Wait, where are you going?"

She turned back to face him, her eyes focused on his hand on her arm, and he took it away, a little intimidated by her gaze. "Stay away from me," She warned before turning back around and walking toward the table Lou was sat at.

For the rest of the time they spent there Catherine was eating her meal in silence, constantly thinking about the sudden and unwanted meeting with Chris – after all, she hadn't seen him since they slept together – and Lou, thinking she was still pissed because of their conversation at the parking lot, kept silent, knowing it would fade off eventually.

* * *

><p>Back at Catherine's place Lou was setting up the crib in the nursery when Catherine came upstairs and stood in the doorway with a hand on her stomach. Her eyes scanned the room Lou had started setting up a week back: One of the walls was painted yellow with little butterflies and bees painted on top of it, a purple rocking chair was in the corner of the room, a chest of drawers with some stuff they had bought was stood by the door, and some stuffed animals on the floor.<p>

"Looking good," She said just as Lou finished setting up the crib.

"Thanks."

"Do you want anything to drink or eat?" She walked over to him.

"No, I'm fine." He turned to the paint cans on the floor and then looked at her. "I was thinking of painting all the walls yellow, like this one," He gestured to the yellow wall, "And keep just one wall white, and when the baby comes, if it's a girl we'll paint it pink, and if it's a boy we'll paint it blue. What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me. Do you need any help?"

"I don't mind." He grabbed a brush, dipped it in the can with the yellow paint and started painting one of the walls. Catherine did the same.

Both of them were standing in silence, painting the same wall, when Catherine finally decided to speak up, "I, uh… I met Chris today," She said, her eyes never leaving the wall.

Lou didn't look at her and didn't stop painting the wall. His face didn't show any reaction to what she had just said, as if she hadn't said anything at all. "Good for you," He said after a few seconds of silence, as if it didn't bother him at all, although inside his body there was a chaos of emotions. He bent down, dipped his brush in the can, and continued painting the wall.

Catherine finally turned her head to look at him, stopping the motion of her hand with the brush on the wall. "Nothing happened," She stated.

"Then why are you telling me this?" The calmness never left his voice and his eyes were still focused on the wall.

"I wanted you to know; I don't want to keep secrets from you. Anymore," She added.

"Why? We're no longer together."

Catherine felt as if she had just been shot in the stomach. _'Ouch, that hurt.'_

"I know we're not together, I just thought you'd like to know."

"Well, you thought wrong." He bent down to dip the brush in the paint again.

Catherine sighed, "You're pissed at me."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. I shouldn't have brought this up."

"Catherine, I'm not pissed at you!" He turned to face her, startling her a little with his quick movement. "Why would I be pissed at you? We're no longer together; you can do whatever you want."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you have my permission to date him, if that's what you're asking for. I really couldn't care less." He turned back to the wall and continued painting, leaving Catherine staring at him wide eyed and open mouthed.

"You think I want to date him?"

"Date him, sleep with him; doesn't matter, it's not like you needed my permission before."

_'Ouch. Another shot.'_

Just then Lou realized it was the first time since their break up that they actually talked about what happened between Catherine and Chris, and suddenly he felt the ache in his heart coming back.

Shocked by what he had just said, it took Catherine a few seconds of just staring at him shocked before she replied, "You're an ass."

_'And you're a whore.'_

"Oh, so I'm the bad guy now. You know what, Catherine?" He turned to face her again. "I really don't wanna argue anymore; I'm tired of fighting. You wanna be with him? Be with him. Really, I don't have a problem with that; I really don't mind. Just be careful not the hurt the baby when you… you know." Saying what he had just said hurt him more than he thought it would. He did care; he did have a problem with that. It hurt him.

"I don't want to be with him, Lou! Stop it!" Catherine threw the brush into the can, making the yellow paint in the can splutter out onto the floor and Lou's trousers.

Lou looked down at his trousers and back up at her. "You can do whatever you want, Catherine. I'm not going to stop you; like I said – we're not together."

"Would you, please, stop saying that?" Catherine could already feel the tears forming in her eyes. Every time he mentioned the fact that they were no longer together made her heart break a little more.

Lou shrugged. "It's true."

"I know it's true! I know we're not together! I need to live with it every Goddamn day of my freakin' life!" She yelled as a tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek, "Every day I think of you; of how I screwed up and how sorry I am! Sorry that I did what I did; sorry that I caused you so much pain; sorry that I lost you!" Tears were now pouring out of her eyes uncontrollably and Lou was starting to feel a little bad for her.

"Okay, Catherine, these are your hormones talking right now," He said in a calm voice, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. "Why don't you go get some rest while I finish here, and we can talk some other time, when you're calmer?"

His calm, reassuring smile just infuriated Catherine even more and she shrugged his hand off of her shoulder. "I don't need to rest, and these aren't my fucking hormones talking, it's me! I'm opening up to you! That's what you always wanted, isn't it?"

"Well, it's too late," He said quietly and turned back to the wall.

Catherine stared at him for a few seconds before nodding slightly. "Right…" She whispered. Sniffing, she turned around and left the room, going downstairs. Lou shook his head and went back to painting the wall.

Only a few minutes had passed before he heard a scream coming from the living room, "LOU!" Dropping the brush on the floor, he quickly ran downstairs, fearing that something had happened to the baby.

_'Fuck! What if out argument made her stress and hurt the baby?'_

"What's wrong? Is it the baby?" He panted, looking down at her rounded belly, then into her eyes, worry written all over his face.

"Give me your hand," Catherine stated.

"What?" He frowned.

"Just give me your hand." She grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach.

"Catherine…"

"Sshhh…"

Suddenly Lou felt something hitting his hand. He looked down at his hand on Catherine's stomach wide eyed, then up at Catherine's sparkly eyes. "Was that…?"

Catherine nodded, her eyes glowing. "The baby's first kick," She whispered with a smile on her face. A huge smile spread on Lou's face and he added his other hand to rest on her stomach, stroking softly.

Suddenly, the fight from earlier was forgotten and both Catherine and Lou were standing in the middle of Catherine's living room with the biggest grins on their faces, touching Catherine's stomach and feeling the little life growing inside it.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading, tell me what you think (:<strong>

**Promise to update soon!**

**-Zohar.**


	12. Happy Birthday

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1.**

**Rating: T.**

**A/N: There you go, getting 2 chapters in one day (: Now, excuse me, I'm going to watch Catherine's farewell promo and sob. Alone. In my room. With ice cream.**

* * *

><p><strong>Happy Birthday<strong>

Two months later Lou and Sara exited an interrogation room after questioning a suspect.

Catherine was now eight months far along and for the past two months, since the baby first kicked, things have been pretty good and calm between her and Lou. Lou would show up at her house almost every day with whatever weird food she would be craving, they would go baby shopping together and sometimes even hang out a little afterwards. Lou had finally finished setting up the nursery, although when he was still working on it Catherine would always stand in the doorway and watch him with a smile playing on her face, and sometimes even help him. Lou was finally starting to forget about what she had done and even considered forgiving her.

"Sara, you're Catherine's friend, and… well, her birthday's coming soon and I was wondering if you'd know what I could get her," He said as he and Sara started walking down the corridors at P.D. He turned his head to look at her, waiting for an answer, and her gaze told him she was surprised by his question. "What?" He asked.

"You want to buy Catherine a present?" She raised an eyebrow. "Catherine, the woman you hated so much?"

"Hate is a big word. And besides, she's the mother of my unborn child."

"Of course," Sara smirked at the lame excuse. "So, why are you asking me? I mean, you were already dating last year when she celebrated her birthday, weren't you?"

"Yes, but…" The long night of love making they shared on Catherine's birthday the previous year flashed in his mind and put a smile on his face. "Well, let's just say it wouldn't really be appropriate to give her the same present I gave her last year." He blushed and Sara smirked again.

"Oh, I see."

"Sara, you can keep a secret, right?" He stopped walking and turned to face her completely, and she stopped walking as well.

"I think I've already proven that, haven't I?"

"Um… I think I might've forgiven Cath… I'm not saying I'm ready to get back together, or want to, "He added quickly, "But the past two months have been pretty great and I think I'm ready to forget, you know, have a fresh start."

"You know what?" Sara smiled, pleased to finally hear those words coming out of his mouth. "We're taking Catherine to a restaurant on her birthday before work. It's a surprise. Why don't you join us? I'm sure she'll be very happy to see you there."

Lou smiled and nodded. "Alright."

"Great." Sara smiled. "I'll text you with the details."

* * *

><p>A few days later, on Catherine's birthday, the team took her out for dinner at a restaurant. After everyone had ordered their meals Catherine excused herself to the bathroom. Not long after she had left Lou showed up.<p>

"Hey, sorry I'm late; couldn't get out of work earlier." He sat down next to Nick.

"Vartann! What are you doing here, man?" Nick patted his back.

"I invited him." Sara smiled, drawing all the attention to her.

"Why?" Greg frowned in confusion, then turned back to Lou, "Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with you being here, but I thought you and Cath are broken up."

"We are. But it's her birthday, and she is carrying my baby," He used the excuse again, "I think I owe her at least a little respect." His excuse seemed to satisfy everyone, leaving only Sara winking at him. "So, where's the birthday girl?" He looked around.

"Went to the bathroom," D.B. replied.

"Oh, I need to go, too; didn't get the chance to go before I came here." With that he got up and made his way toward the bathroom.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Catherine was washing her hands when she heard a voice coming from the doorway, "Cath?" She turned her head in the direction of the voice and sighed.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

Chris was standing in the doorway, wearing his usual smile that sometimes made Catherine wonder if he ever stops smiling.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asked.

"I'm here with friends," He replied as he stepped closer. "What are you doing here?"

"Celebrating my birthday." She was in a good mood and no one, not even Chris, could ruin it.

"You're kidding! It's your birthday?" Chris's smile grew wider as he stopped in front of her. "How old are you?"

"Oh, you don't really expect me to answer this, do you?" She turned to dry her hands so Chris could see her profile.

"Wow, and you're bigger," He exclaimed, putting his hand on her stomach, but only to have it slapped away.

"Touch me again and you're dead," Catherine warned, pointing her finger at him.

He sighed. "Come on, you can't possibly still be mad at me for something that happened six months ago. Besides, it wasn't completely my fault; you were there, too, and I didn't even know you had a boyfriend."

"Oh, so you're telling me that if you knew you wouldn't have slept with me?" Chris only looked down with a slight grin on his face, as if he was a little kid admitting to do something bad. He wasn't even sorry, and he wasn't even trying to hide it.

Catherine smiled slightly, leaned forward, and whispered in his ear, "Go to hell, Chris." With that she brushed past him and made to leave the bathroom, but he stopped her.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you, especially not on your birthday." Catherine turned to face him, not in the mood to talk to him anymore. "At least let me make it up to you; let me give you a birthday present."

Catherine put her hands on her hips and stared at him, as if to give him her 'okay,' and then, suddenly, out of nowhere, Chris's lips crashed on hers, taking her completely by surprise.

Just then Lou walked into the bathroom, only to find the two lip-locked. He stared at them shocked for a second before quietly turning on his heels and leaving, feeling like his heart would explode every second from the pain.

_'How could I be so stupid? Of course she prefers him!'_

The kiss, however, broke as soon as it started and Catherine pushed Chris away before warning, "Don't you ever come near me again. Don't contact me; don't call me, don't come to my house. You see me on the street – avoid me like I'm a stranger. You ever come near me again, and I swear to God, I'll shoot you." The calmness in her voice made Chris realize she was serious, and with that he left the bathroom quietly. Catherine sighed and took one last look at herself in the mirror before going back out to her friends.

Meanwhile, everyone was sat by their table and waiting for Catherine and Lou to come back while chatting and joking when Sara spotted Lou storming out of the restaurant. She quickly got up and ran after him.

"Lou! Lou, where are you going?" She called after him and he stopped and turned to face her.

"Forget about it, Sara. It was a bad idea coming here in the first place. She's obviously over me."

"What? What are you talking about? Did she say something?"

"No, she was too busy playing tonsil tennis with Bezich."

"What?" Sara frowned.

"I walked in on her and Chris kissing," He explained.

"Chris? The guy she's cheated on you with?" Sara's eyes widened in shock.

"Yep, that's the one," Lou said. "Look, it was really nice of you to invite me here, but I'm going home now." Sara didn't reply; she was still trying to register what he had just told her. She couldn't believe Catherine would actually do such thing; she knew how much Catherine hated Chris and how much she regretted sleeping with him, and she knew how badly Catherine wanted Lou back. The thought of Catherine kissing Chris just didn't make any sense in her head; Catherine would never repeat the same mistake. There must've been a misunderstanding and she made a note in her head to talk about it with Catherine.

Lou turned back around and walked toward his car and Sara walked back into the restaurant to find Catherine already sitting with everyone, smiling and happy – something she didn't see really often. She decided to leave everything for one night and let Catherine enjoy her birthday. She'd talk to her another time.

* * *

><p>The following night Catherine was walking through P.D. with a box of files when she spotted Lou and walked over to him. "Hey." She smiled at him.<p>

He briefly glanced at her and said, "You shouldn't be carrying heavy things."

"Oh, it's okay, I'm just on my way to drop these in Jim's office. So, are you going on your break soon?" She changed the subject.

"Yep," He answered without looking at her.

"Me too. Wanna do something?"

"Nope."

Catherine stopped on her spot and looked after him confused and a little surprised as he kept walking.

Later that night she was sitting in her office when Sara knocked on the door and walked in with a pile of files in her hands.

"Hey, how's being stuck in the office all night?"

"Great!" Catherine said sarcastically. "I can't wait to get this baby out of me and get back on the field."

Sara chuckled and put the files on her desk. "I need you to sign these."

Catherine took a quick look at the files before looking up at Sara. "Isn't that D.B.'s job?"

"He was busy, he told me to give them to you." Sara sat down on the couch.

Catherine rolled her eyes and mumbled, "Sure, leave all the paperwork to the pregnant woman who can't leave her office." Sara chuckled again.

"Sara?" She started while signing the files, not taking her eyes off of them. "Have you talked to Lou lately?"

"Why?" Sara looked at her, knowing that it was probably the time to tell her about her and Lou's conversation from the previous night.

"I don't know, he's distant again. I tried talking to him earlier and he was really cold to me." She finally looked at Sara, dropping her pen on the desk. "I honestly thought we were okay with each other; things have been really good between us lately." She looked down again. "He didn't even say happy birthday."

Sara sighed. She got up and placed her hand on her friend's back. "He saw you kissing Chris Bezich."

Catherine's head snapped up and she turned in her seat to face Sara wide eyed. "What?"

Sara sighed again and moved to sit on the edge of the desk in front of her. "I invited him to the restaurant and he went to the bathroom and saw you there kissing him. Is it true?" Catherine put her head in her hands and nodded.

"Why?" Sara whispered shocked.

"I didn't kiss him, he kissed me," Catherine mumbled into her hands and then lifted her head. "I gotta go talk to Lou, I need to explain."

"You sure it's a good idea? He's pretty upset right now, maybe you should wait a few days, let him calm down."

"No, the longer I wait with it, the more he'll hate me!" With that Catherine grabbed her jacket and left the office.

* * *

><p>Catherine knocked on Lou's office door and walked in without even waiting for him to reply. "We need to talk," She stated.<p>

"I'm busy," Lou said, not looking up from his paperwork. He wasn't in the mood to talk to her. He was so upset with her, he wasn't even sure he wanted anything to do with her anymore. He couldn't believe that after all her beggings for him to come back and all her apologies and promises that she'd never hurt him again she kissed the man who she had cheated on him with; the cause to their break up.

"Sara told me what you saw," She sighed. "Lou, nothing happened, I swear. He kissed me and I immediately pushed him away."

"Yeah, sure looked like it."

"Why does it even bother you so much? We're not together, you said it yourself." Catherine regretted saying those words the second they left her lips. She didn't mean them. They just came out, and her heart broke when Lou looked up at her and she saw the hurt in his eyes.

"I… I didn't mean-"

"Yes, you did," Lou cut her off, "And you're right. We're not together; you can kiss whoever you want."

Catherine kept staring at him for a little longer, knowing that it would be pointless to argue or try to convince him that the kiss was nothing and she had nothing to do with it, and then she turned on her heels and left the office, leaving Lou to bang his head repeatedly on his desk.

The whole way from the building to her car she did her best preventing the tears from streaming down her face, but as soon as she climbed into her car, she leant back in her seat and let all the sadness out.

* * *

><p><strong>Aaaand you probably hate me again. I don't blame you. But I promise I'll fix it soon, sooner than you think (:<strong>

**Tell me what you thought of this chapter.**

**-Zohar.**


	13. Welcome to the World

**Disclaimer in chapter 1.**

**Rating: T.**

**A/N: I know you pretty much hate me after the previous chapter, so you're gonna love me after this one (:**

* * *

><p><strong>Welcome to the World<strong>

It had been almost a month since Catherine's birthday and Catherine and Lou went back to the way they used to be after Catherine had first cheated; they would meet only for meetings with the doctor or bump into each other at work; Lou wouldn't come to Catherine's place anymore and they wouldn't talk on the phone. They were avoiding each other completely.

Catherine felt awful. She was so happy that she and Lou had finally become some kind of friends, and then she had to ruin everything all over again, although this time it wasn't her fault at all. It was Chris who kissed her! She didn't even kiss him back, she pulled away. But it didn't really matter because Lou didn't believe her anyway. Why would he? It's not like she had proven him he could trust her. It's not like she hadn't cheated on him before. Why would he think this time was any different?

One night she was sitting in the break room, not feeling so good, when D.B. walked past and announced a "family meeting." She got up, wincing as she felt a sharp pain in her stomach, but decided it was probably nothing and headed toward D.B.'s office.

The whole team was stood around his desk, D.B. sitting behind it, as they discussed a case they were all working. Catherine, however, wasn't concentrating as the pain in her stomach was getting stronger.

Sara noticed the twitches in her face and nudged her arm lightly, whispering so they wouldn't draw attention, "You okay?"

Catherine shut her eyes tightly, waiting for the unbearable pain to pass, and nodded slightly. "Fine," She whispered.

Sara kept looking at her friend for a few more seconds, sensing something was wrong, and then turned back to the rest of the team. Catherine, however, wasn't fine at all, and interrupted D.B. mid-sentence with a loud wince as the pain, getting stronger, made her hold her stomach and bend forward, biting her lower lip. Everyone turned to look at her worried.

"Cath, you okay?" Nick asked with concern in his voice.

"I don't think so," She winced, stopping herself from crying, still bent forward and holding her stomach. "I think something's wrong with the baby."

"I'll call an ambulance." Morgan quickly pulled out her phone and called an ambulance.

"Come on, sit here," D.B. said as he got up from his chair, and suddenly Catherine's eyes widened. "What? What is it?" He asked worried.

"I think my water just broke."

Everyone looked down to see a small puddle on the floor, and then back up at Catherine, whose eyes were wide. They could all see how terrified she was.

"Oh, my God!" Sara was the first one to speak after a silence that seemed to last hours, "You're having a baby!"

"What? No, that's not possible!" Catherine started panicking as D.B. helped her onto his chair, "I'm not due for at least two weeks!" It wasn't the first time she gave birth and she knew how to handle it, but it was happening too soon and she wasn't ready yet. She was freaking out.

"Well, your water just broke. You're a scientist, you know what that means," Greg joined the conversation and Sara threw him a killer's look over her shoulder.

"Greg, you're not helping!" She barked at him while crouching beside Catherine and trying to calm her down.

"Oh, God, what do I do?" Catherine panted, fear in her eyes.

"The ambulance is on its way," Morgan said as she hung up her phone.

"Okay, Catherine, breath." D.B. knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his, and took deep breaths with her, hoping it would help her relax a little.

"Where's Lou? I need Lou!" She cried, "I can't do this without him, I need him here!"

"I'll call him," Nick offered, pulling out his phone and dialing Lou's number.

"The ambulance is here," Morgan said.

"No, I can't go. Lou isn't here yet!"

"I'll tell him to meet you at the hospital," Nick said.

"Let's go, Catherine." Sara took her hand and helped her get up.

* * *

><p>Lou ran hysterically around the hospital until he finally spotted Catherine being dragged in a wheel chair by a nurse, and ran over to her, almost slipping on the floor.<p>

"Catherine!"

"Lou!" Catherine reached for him with her arms and he knelt in front of her, holding her hands.

"Is the baby coming?" Catherine nodded.

"Lou, I'm so sorry for everything," She said, trying her hardest not to cry, but tears were already starting to form in her eyes.

"Forget about it now, the baby is coming." He was unbelievably nervous. The nurse started turning the wheel chair so she could get Catherine into a room, but Catherine stopped her.

"No!" She yelled and looked back at Lou. "I'm not having this baby until you forgive me."

"Catherine, this is not the time. We will talk about this later," Lou said.

"Miss, the baby is coming," The nurse joined the conversation, "We need to get you into a room."

"Shut up, bitch! No one was talking to you!" Catherine barked at her, making her back away a little.

"Cath, listen to me," Lou tried to sound calm, but he was too nervous. "I promise we will talk about everything after the baby comes, but right now this woman needs to take you so you can have our baby, okay?" He attempted to smile.

"No!" Catherine gripped his hand tighter as a contractor hit her and she winced loudly, but didn't give up and continued, "We won't have time after the baby comes! This baby doesn't come out of me until you tell me you forgive me!"

"Catherine, this is ridiculous-"

She cut him off with a scream as the strongest contractor so far hit her and her grip on his hand tightened, almost breaking his hand, and he bit his lip in pain. "I'm serious, Lou! I don't mind keeping this baby inside for another nine months; I'm not having this baby until you forgive me, not only for the kiss, but also for sleeping with him."

"Catherine…"

"I was so stupid and I can't live with myself since then," She started crying. "I hate myself for doing this to you, and I honestly don't know what to do to make you forgive me. I know I've broken your heart and I know what I've done is unforgivable, but I'm not letting this baby come out to a life where its dad hates its mom, do you hear me?"

"Okay, fine," Lou surrendered. Catherine sitting there and threatening she wouldn't have the baby unless he forgave her just made him more nervous and he knew that there wasn't time for arguing. He knew how stubborn Catherine was; he knew she wouldn't give up until she got what she wanted. So he told her what she wanted to hear, "I forgive you, I forgive you."

"Really?" A smile slowly formed on Catherine's lips as the tears kept rolling down her cheeks.

"Really." Lou held her hands and smiled softly. He wasn't completely sure he was ready to forgive her and just start over, but he knew it was the only thing that would convince her to have the baby. He'd deal with everything later, when they're calmer. "Now, will you, please, let this woman take you?" He gestured with his head toward the nurse, who was standing impatiently behind Catherine's wheelchair.

"Will you be there with me?" Catherine sniffed.

"Yes, I'll be right there, I promise."

"Okay." Catherine smiled softly, then turned her head to look at the nurse with a sweet smile on her face. "You can take me now," She said, her voice calmer and sweeter.

"Thank God," The nurse mumbled under her breath and took Catherine into a room. Lou stood up and looked after them, and then went to change into some scrubs.

* * *

><p>Catherine was laid on the hospital bed, her hair messy and stuck to her face. She was sweating and screaming, and Lou tried not to scream as well as her grip on his hand almost smashed him bones. It was too late for pain relief since Catherine had insisted earlier that Lou would forgive her, something she regretted since the pain was unbearable.<p>

"The baby is almost here, Ms. Willows," The doctor said, "I just need you to push one more time."

"No, I can't," Catherine half panted, half cried, plopping back on the bed, and looked up at Lou. "I can't do this."

"Yes, you can," Lou's hand stroked her hair, the other holding her sweaty hand.

"No, it hurts too much," She cried.

"I know it is, but it's only one more push. Think about this: You might be sufferring now, but soon we'll have an amazing baby for the rest of our lives and you'll forget about the pain. You can do it," He tried to encourage her.

"No, I really can't."

"Catherine, listen to me." He looked deep into her blue, tired eyes. "You're the strongest woman I know; you solve murders every day and put people in jail; you've saved people's life more than once; you've killed people; I've seen you fight, remember? When we just started dating and we were undercover at that hotel? You saved my life." He smiled softly at her and stroked her hand with his thumb. "You can deal with everything, you're Catherine Willows. So what's one little baby for you? Huh? You can do it easily. Just hold my hand, I'm here for you."

Catherine looked at him with tears on her face and nodded. "Okay," She whispered and pushed her hardest one last time, squeezing Lou's hand tightly and screaming at the top of her voice, and suddenly the sound of a shrilling baby filled the room. Catherine plopped back on the bed, panting and breathing heavily, and let go of Lou's hand. Her face was red and wet from the sweat and her hair was stuck to it. Both she and Lou had huge, exhausted smiles on their faces.

"You did it," Lou whispered as a tear escaped his eye and he bent down to kiss her forehead softly.

"Congratulations," The doctor said after cleaning the baby and wrapping it with a little white blanket. "You have a daughter." He smiled at the couple.

"We have a daughter, Cath," Lou whispered, and if possible, his smile grew wider, and Catherine smiled up at him. She was happier than she was in a very long time.

"Would you like to hold her?" The doctor asked Catherine.

"Yes, please," Catherine whispered, nodding. The doctor gently placed the little baby girl in Catherine's arms. She had red hair and big blue eyes, just like Catherine. Catherine stared down at her daughter with a huge smile on her face and the baby stared up at her. Tears were pouring out of Catherine's eyes uncontrollably as she gently stroked her cheek with the back of her finger.

"She's beautiful," Lou whispered and sat down on the bed next to Catherine. "Just like her mommy."

Both Catherine and Lou stared down at their little angel, then looked at each other. They couldn't believe how happy they were at that moment. They stared into each other's eyes and suddenly their lips met in a kiss. Completely lost in the kiss, it took both of them a little while before they finally broke apart, their eyes still closed, as if they were trying to stay in this magical world for a little longer. When their eyes finally opened and met they realized what had just happened and both started mumbling.

"I'm… I'm sorry…"

"Yeah…"

"I didn't mean…"

"Me neither…"

Embarrassed and not sure what had just happened and what to think, they looked back down at the baby in Catherine's arms. Both were staring at her for a couple of minutes, thinking of what had just happened, when the baby latched onto Lou's big finger with her tiny ones. He looked down at her with tears in his eyes and a soft smile on his lips. He looked into her eyes and saw Catherine in them, but suddenly he didn't see Catherine the cheater or Catherine, the woman who hurt him so much, the woman he's broken up with and hated for so long. He didn't see the Catherine he thought was so bad, he saw a good, beautiful person with a big, warm heart, who could never hurt anyone. He saw the Catherine he's fell in love with.

Both sat together on the bed, staring at the beautiful baby in Catherine's arms. Lou's arm was wrapped carefully around Catherine's shoulders and Catherine was snuggled into his side and they watched happily as their daughter slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Later that night Catherine was lying on the bed with the baby in her arms and both were sleeping soundly, and Lou was sleeping on the chair beside the bed when the door slowly opened with a quiet squeak. It was enough to wake Lou and he rubbed his eyes before looking over his shoulder to see who the visitor was, and then smiled and got up.<p>

"Hey, Lindsey, what are you doing here?" He whispered as he walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"I came to see Mom and my new sister." She smiled and Lou quietly led her to the bed. She bent down and, careful not to wake either Catherine or the baby, moved the blanket slightly to take a look at her sister's face. "She's so cute," She whispered and turned to Lou. "What's her name?"

"Emma." Lou smiled proudly.

"That's a beautiful name." Lindsey smiled. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Never been happier." Lou's smile grew bigger.

"Does it mean you and Mom are getting back together?"

Lou's smile disappeared and his face dropped. He looked down and shook his head, "No."

"Why not?"

He looked up at Lindsey. "We grew apart, we both want different things. I'm sure she's over me."

"Are you kidding?" Lindsey stopped herself from laughing. "She can't stop talking about how much she loves you and how much she wishes you guys would get back together. There's nothing she wants more than be with you again."

"It's complicated, Lindsey."

"How is this complicated? Do you love her?"

Lou looked at her and then glanced at Catherine. She was sleeping peacefully with their little, perfect daughter in her arms. She never looked more beautiful. He nodded, "I do. I love her very much."

"Then it's not complicated at all." Lindsey smiled. "I'll go get us some coffee," She said before heading out of the room, leaving Lou to stare at Catherine, his head flooded with thoughts.

* * *

><p><strong>Sooooo? What do you think? :D<strong>

**This isn't the last chapter, though. The next one is (:**

**-Zohar.**


	14. She's Chosen Future

**Disclaimer in chapter 1.**

**Rating: M.**

**A/N: There you go, guys, last chapter. Hope you like it (:**

* * *

><p><strong>She's Chosen Future<strong>

It had been a month since Emma was born and she had brought Catherine and Lou closer. Even though they weren't back together, they had become really close to each other, but both of them were too scared to make a move. Neither of them thought the other one felt the same.

Emma was a beautiful baby; she had her mother's hair and eyes and anyone who saw her fell in love. The colleagues from work would spend hours playing with her and making her laugh and when Catherine came to visit at the lab with her for the first time it took her about half an hour just to get to the break room because everyone kept stopping her on the way, asking to see the little baby in the pram.

Lou would come to Catherine's house every day after work to play with Emma, read and tell her stories, help Catherine bathe her, and just spend as much time with her as he could, and sometimes Catherine would even let him watch as she breastfed.

Both Catherine and Lou had never been happier. They loved their little girl so much.

One night it was raining – something that didn't happen very often in Vegas – and Catherine and Lou spent the evening at Catherine's house by the fire, playing with Emma. When Catherine suddenly yawned Lou glanced at her and saw the exhaustion on her face.

"When was the last time you had a good night's sleep?" He asked.

"A month ago." She yawned again. "She cried all night."

"Why don't you go take a hot bath while I play with her?" He suggested.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." He smiled. "Take your time, relax. We'll be fine here on our own, won't we?" He smiled down at Emma, who was staring up at him with her big, blue eyes, and kissed her cheek.

"Okay." Catherine smiled and got up. "Thanks."

She went upstairs and, for the first time in a month, had a worry-free bath, releasing all the stress from her body. When she finished she walked into her bedroom and looked at her naked body in the mirror; she almost got her figure back. She put on her nightgown and just when she was about to walk out of the room a picture of her, Lou and Emma that was on her nightstand caught her eye. She smiled softly and left the room.

She walked downstairs and found Lou and Emma still playing in the living room. She stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched them with a smile on her face before walking over to them. Lou looked up at her and smiled softly. She smiled back.

They played with Emma for a while until it was finally Emma's turn to yawn.

"I'll take her to bed," Lou said as he got up and picked Emma up.

He walked with her upstairs while Catherine started to put the toys away. When he tucked her into bed Catherine heard his voice through the baby monitor. "Goodnight, princess. Sweet dreams. I'll be back tomorrow." There was a pause before he continued, "You know, I'd really love to stay here with you and your mommy, but I'm not sure your mommy wants the same thing." Catherine's eyes widened slightly as she heard him.

_'Does he mean what I think he means?'_

"It's too late," he continued. "I had to be an idiot and let my ego decide for me. I'd do anything to get her back, but… we've made mistakes and I guess now we're paying for them."

A tear escaped Catherine's eye as she heard him say those words. She had no idea he felt that way. She thought he was there just for their daughter and nothing more – like he had said before. She couldn't believe he was feeling the same as her. She couldn't believe he actually… wanted her?

"…but don't worry," he continued talking to Emma. "No matter what happened and what happens between your mommy and me, I will always love you and always be here and I'll be the best daddy, I promise. I'll play with you and take you fishing. I'll even carry your bags at the mall, like I used to do with your mommy." Catherine smiled and listened as he kept telling their daughter what he'd do with her.

A few minutes later Emma fell asleep and he came back downstairs. Catherine was already sitting by the fire with some cushions she put on the floor and a thin blanket covering her legs. She stared at the flames and couldn't stop thinking of what she had just heard him say. She didn't notice he had come down until he said, "Well, I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow."

She turned her head to look at him. She didn't want him to go, especially not after what she had heard, and she knew this was her chance. "You… you can't go, it's raining outside."

"I'll be alright." He smiled softly.

"Well, at least stay until it stops, I don't want you getting ill." He kept still, staring at her, so she patted one of the cushions next to her. "Come on, it's warm here."

He gave up and walked over, sitting next to her. Not daring to look at each other, they both stared at a picture of Emma in front of them.

"She's so amazing," Catherine whispered.

"Yeah." Lou smiled. "Our little angel."

Catherine smiled and, without even thinking, rested her head on his shoulder. Lou looked down at her surprised, and then, ever so slowly and carefully, wrapped his arm around her. He didn't even notice he was running his fingers up and down her arm until it caused Catherine chills and she turned her head to look at him. Their faces were so close, almost touching, and the only sound in the room was their heavy breath that was hitting each other's face. And then it happened – their lips met. It was barely a kiss, just lips brushing softly, barely touching, but they both felt the same thing, and it was so strong.

When the kiss ended they looked deeply into each other's eyes. Their breath was heavier and their heart was pounding. It wasn't like the kiss at the hospital a month ago - it wasn't at the heat of the moment – it was a real kiss; the most intimate kiss they had shared in nine months. Something they had both wanted for so long, even if they wouldn't admit it. They looked deeply into each other's eyes and they saw the same thing – love. They both wanted it and, no matter how nervous they were, they didn't try to hide it.

Slowly their lips met again, but this time in a much deeper kiss. They whimpered at the contact. It was something both of them missed. Their lips were softly caressing and Lou gently cupped Catherine's cheek with his hand and caressed her lower lip with his tongue. She parted her lips willingly and invited his tongue to dance with hers, both moaning at the feel of their tongues touching.

Lou slowly lowered them so Catherine was lying beneath him, her chest rising and falling rapidly. They didn't want the kiss to end, they wanted to make this magical, amazing moment last forever, but oxygen became an issue and they broke apart, their faces still almost touching. They looked into each other's eyes, breathing even more heavily and their heart pounding harder.

Lou was the first to speak. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Catherine smiled softly. "Shouldn't I be asking you this question?"

"I've wanted to do this for so long," he whispered. Catherine's smile grew bigger and their lips met again, but Catherine broke the contact again.

"Wait."

"What's wrong?" He looked down at her, afraid that maybe she didn't want the same thing he did after all, and he saw her taking deep breaths. "We don't have to do this."

"No, I want to," Catherine said as she brought her hand up to stroke his cheek and he covered her hand with his. "God, you have no idea how much I want this. I just really need to say something first."

"Okay." Lou nodded. "What is it?"

"I'm so, so sorry for everything. I hate myself for hurting you. I was so stupid, and believe me, if I could go back in time and change what I did, I would never, ever sleep with him. These past nine months have been living hell for me, and-" Before she could finish her sentence Lou cut her off with a kiss. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of his soft lips on hers.

When they broke apart he smiled and said, "I've forgiven you a long time ago. I'm sorry for being such an ass. I never stopped loving you, I guess I just needed time, and looking back, it all looks like a waste of time."

Catherine felt her heart race and a smile formed on her lips as she heard him say those words; the words she had wanted to hear for so long. She palmed his face in her hands, her thumbs softly stroking his cheekbones. "I love you so much, Lou," she whispered.

"I love you, too, Catherine," he whispered before leaning in for another heated kiss. His hands wandered her body, touching everywhere they could reach, as if to make up for lost time. Catherine grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and slowly pulled it off of his body, revealing his toned chest and arms; the arms she loved to feel wrapped around her. She ran her hands up his chest, over his shoulders, and down his arms, wanting to feel every single muscle in his body. He slowly pulled her nightgown off and stared down at her body.

"I still haven't got my figure back, but-" Lou cut her off with another kiss.

"It's perfect," he whispered and stared at her breasts. "They're bigger." Catherine smiled as he massaged them gently. She threw her head back and moaned softly. She missed the feel of his hands on her body so much.

She reached between them and undid the button and zipper on his pants. She pulled them and his boxers down his legs and he kicked them off. His hands softly caressed their way down her body until they finally found the straps of her panties and he pulled them off. Catherine's breathing quickened as his fingers gently brushed against her centre. She felt like it was the first time she ever had sex.

When her panties were off, Lou kissed his way up her body, occasionally nipping on her soft skin. He kissed every inch of her body, not wanting to miss any spot. Catherine opened her legs widely for him to settle between them and they looked into each other's eyes as Lou slowly thrust into her with a groan. Catherine shut her eyes and bit her lower lip, so Lou stilled his movements.

"You okay?" He whispered.

"Yeah." Catherine opened her eyes. "Can you… can you just pull out a little?" She asked between short breaths.

"We don't have to do anything."

"No, I want to do it, more than anything in the world." Lou nodded and pulled out, leaving only the tip of his cock inside of her. "Thank you," she whispered.

He stroked her cheek softly as he started moving the tip slowly inside of her. A couple of minutes later Catherine said, "I think I can handle more." He nodded and pushed in a little more. "All the way," she gasped.

"You sure? I don't want to hurt you."

She smiled up at him and pulled him in for a kiss. "You could never hurt me," she mumbled against his lips. He smiled softly and pushed all the way inside of her. She closed her eyed, trying to adjust, and he kept still. The pain slowly faded away and she opened her eyes and nodded, signaling that he could start moving again.

Lou moved slowly and passionately within her, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust, the blanket barely covering their naked, sweaty bodies. They took their time to watch and touch each other lovingly. The fire and the closeness between their bodies made drops of sweat form on their bodies. The quiet room filled with soft moans and pants. They looked deeply into each other's eyes the whole time.

Catherine wrapped her legs around his waist, allowing him to penetrate her deeper and he claimed her mouth in a deep kiss before trailing wet, open mouthed kisses along her neck. She moaned as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled his body closer, wanting to keep him close to her and never let go again.

Lou started quickening the pace and thrust into her faster. She moaned, pressing her lips to his ear and nibbling on it and he could hear her pant against his ear. He reached between them and started massaging her clit with his fingers and moving faster. Their moans and groans were getting louder with each thrust and they could feel the end approaching.

Lou felt Catherine's inner muscles tighten around his shaft and he lifted his head from her neck and watched her as the pleasure coursed through her body and she moaned his name loudly as her body shuddered beneath his and her juices showered his member. Lou thrust into her a few more times before gripping her hips tightly, burying himself deep inside of her, and emptying his own hot liquid inside of her.

They didn't move for a few minutes, both trying to regulate their breathing and enjoying those moments. Then Lou pulled out of Catherine and rolled onto his back, pulling her close to him. She cuddled up to him, her leg draped over his and her hand and head resting on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her, stroking her back softly. He pulled the blanket over their bodies and they snuggled closer to each other, their bodies almost becoming one. No words needed to be said; they both felt the same thing.

The rain had stopped by now, but Lou had no intention on leaving and Catherine had no intention on letting him. They lay together by the fire, holding onto each other and not wanting let go. Ever. They lay in silence and thought about the events that occurred in the last nine months. They were so happy to be together again, and now they had their little, perfect baby girl. They had their little, perfect family.

When Catherine felt Lou's chest rise and fall slowly she turned her head to look at him and saw he had fallen asleep. She smiled softly and kissed his cheek before resting her head back on his chest. She would never let anything take him away from her again.

Chris was gone, he was in the past, and Catherine has definitely chosen the future. A future with the man she loved and their little daughter.

That was the last thing she thought before drifting off. That night both of them had the best sleep they had had in months.

* * *

><p><strong>THE END!<strong>

**Thank you all for reading this story, hope you liked it. I loved writing it (: Please leave me a review and tell me what you think. Thanks!**

**-Zohar x**


End file.
